( Jim Watson/AFP / Getty )
Even as New York begins to rebuild after 9/11, there remains a deep sense of loss in the city. How are New Yorkers coping with their loss, whether it is the death of a loved one, the loss of faith, or the loss of a sense of security? This documentary presents stories of people whose lives have changed dramatically as they cope with the lasting impact of the attack: the family of a Long Island woman who died in the World Trade Center still trying to make sense of her death; formerly unconnected neighbors who have found a new sense of community; people who have considered extraordinary measures to protect themselves because they fear another attack; NYPD 911 operators who were working on that day, and have discovered a new appreciation for life; a romance that began at Ground Zero. The documentary reveals the inner landscape of people's emotions and how 9/11 has impacted values, family, work, political views, spirituality, and community. Listeners will find elements of their own responses to 9/11 in the stories they hear.
Changed New York is a special program from WNYC and part of public radio's special coverage; "Understanding America After 9/11." This program was produced and narrated by John Rudolph. Karen Frillmann was the editor. The associate producers were Amy Eddings, Beth Fertig and Amy Rubin. The engineer was Karen Pearlman with help from George Edwards, Michael Jones, Wayne Shulmister and Dean Western. Additional production assistance from Rex Doane, Mikel Ellcessor, Alex Kingsbury and Andy Lanset. This documentary was made possible by funding from the Carnegie Corporation of New York, the Overbrook Foundation, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and the listeners of WNYC, New York Public Radio.
WNYC archives id: 26642
Partial Transcript
+9/11 CD TRACK 2, use sound from beginning to establish and dip under tracks
An hour after the Twin Towers collapsed, WNYC reporter Beth Fertig met a captain from the Sanitation Police named Charles Diaz. He was in a triage center at the city's health department nursing a broken arm, with a makeshift sling fashioned with a wooden ruler and a piece of masking tape.
9/11 CD Track 2 00:32 "I was over on Trinity by Church trying to find my men, I'm a captain with the Sanitation police, and all of a sudden all hell broke loose. We heard the building starting to collapse, we ran. I got buried under rubble don't know how I'm alive. //EDIT TO TRACK 2-2:34// I saw traffic agent, don't even remember her name, she had a flashlight and we made our way through the darkness.
Captain Diaz eventually learned who the mysterious woman was who pulled him out of the rubble. As WNYC's Beth Fertig reports, they've developed a lasting friendship that's gotten both of them through a rocky year.
It was maybe a week after September 11th, when Charles Diaz spotted an article in the union newspaper about a school safety officer. She'd been evacuating students near the World Trade Center when the first tower collapsed, and she guided a sanitation officer out of the rubble.
1-89) CHARLES: She didn't know my name, we didn't know our names. She said she wanted to make sure when knew I was OK because we lost track of each other.
He called the newspaper, and a few hours later he heard back from the safety officer.
2-50) ROOM TONE for Deborah
2-14) DEBORAH: I called and I said to him, "˜Hello may I speak to Charles Diaz.' And he says "˜This is he.' And I said to him well "˜I'm Deborah Mete I'm the young lady that saved you that day.' He says "˜Oh my God. Thank you so much. He just was so thankful.'
1-92) CHARLES: She's very religious. And we were just talking about that there was a purpose why we made it out of there.
2-15) DEBORAH: He said "˜You know you're my hero.' I said I'm not a hero. I do believe that God put me there with that light to save you and that this is not a hero effort, this is just something I was appointed to do.
Chuck Diaz and Deborah Mete discovered they needed to talk to each other. In the months ahead, they continued talking almost every week. Each had feelings they were wrestling with as survivors of a terrifying ordeal.
1-91) CHARLES: Psychologically it bothered us. All the people. Why we lived and a lot of other people didn't.
2-20) DEBORAH: There's times when you do feel down and there's times that you do need to speak to someone. And what I explained to him is that our families can't really explain and experience what we went through so they're really no help.
But it was with their families that Chuck and Deborah each found the safety and security they needed. And even if their loved ones couldn't understand what the two survivors experienced, the disaster drew them together as well.
2-101) SOUND OF BBQ, BARBARA: "Sit in the nice comfortable chair..."DIP
One Sunday in August, Chuck and his wife Barbara invite Deborah and her family to a barbecue at their home on Staten Island. The Metes live in the Bronx. And they show up in a red convertible, exhausted after the long drive.
2-93) SOUND, DEBORAH: Traffic was bad, but we're here... Hi. Chris, hi. How are you...(DIP UNDER)
The Diaz's have a teenage son and daughter. The Metes have brought along the youngest of their three kids.
CONTINUE SOUND IN CLEAR, "hi how are you" (George's name comes up somewhere in between Beth's next trax)
Just as everyone sits down to eat, the questions begin. Barbara's father, George, starts by teasing Deborah about her heroism. He wants to know how the 36 year-old school safety officer rescued his stocky son-in-law with only a flashlight.
2-106) GEORGE: You dragged him out? (laughs) CHARLES: She sat there putting the light back and forth. She said follow the light. (DIP UNDER)
Soon, Chuck and Deborah are telling their story. It's a story everyone sitting around this backyard table has heard before, at least in part. Kind of like their own personal exodus.
2-106 at :25) CONTINUE AT AHMED: Remember when you told us it was like a ghost town. (STOP TAPE)
MIX UP EXTRA BBQ SOUND AT 2-102 TO KEEP SOMETHING UNDER BETH
Deborah's nine-year-old son, Ahmed, prompts her to recall what it was like when the towers fell.
CONTINUE: DEB: It was like a ghost town. You remember that Michael Jackson Thriller? That's what it felt like. Thriller. When all these people started rising up looking white, then they started coming at you slow. Crumbling things, people moving things and papers being shuffled. CHARLES Yeah, everything was still falling. (DIP UNDER)
One year later, the details do seem surreal. At times, they're even comical.
2-107) DEBORAH: Laughs... CHARLES: What are you doing in my store, that was crazy...(DIP UNDER)
Chuck and Deborah go on to recall how they ran to a Burger King for safety. How they washed the ash off their faces with orange slush. And then jumped over the counter to answer a ringing telephone.
2-109 at :06) DEBORAH: This lady says can I speak to so and so. I say MISS DO YOU REALIZE WHAT HAPPENED? WE ALMOST DIED! And I mean I went off. She goes, "˜Well what are you doing in my store? I said Your store? We almost died. So I said your store is no good. We're using your slush....
It was there in the Burger King that Chuck discovered he had broken his arm. Deborah was also injured and they got separated in the chaos. It turned out she had broken an arm and a leg. Laughing about the crazy details, their spouses also start trading stories. Deborah's husband Adam, a West African immigrant, says her nightmares kept him awake for months.
2-113) ADAM: Every hour you just kept tossing and turning. //EDIT// DEB: I was saying stuff? ADAM: Yeah you were saying stuff. Ugh. It's coming again and stuff like that. So I could get no sleep. //EDIT// BARBARA: He was yelling. He would scream. "˜Run, Run!' or "˜No don't go in there.' All different things and he always had fists. Always. And they were always going. I'm surprised that my face is still intact. (laughs)
FADE SOUND
Chuck and Deborah and their families admit they went through a very difficult time after September 11th. Chuck's sixteen year old daughter, Valerie, says she couldn't even talk to her father about what had happened to him.
2-81) VALERIE: We were at a restaurant and I wanted to know what it was like and everything. And then he got .. he got so upset he started crying.
(PAUSE)
1-122) DIAZ: In a way I was guilty. I felt guilty. For them almost losing me. You know, that I put myself in that situation.
Chuck and Barbara have been married for 20 years. They were high school sweethearts. But despite their closeness, Barbara says her husband shut down after September 11th. Sometimes, the only one who could reach him was Deborah.
2-59) ROOM TONE OF DIAZ KITCHEN FOR BARBARA
2-68) BARBARA: They were on the phone all the time. Like he would be very, very quiet. Just sit around. Like just TV on but not watching it. Just be like in a stare. And I'd try to talk to him and of course I started crying so I was really no help. But then he'd get on the phone with Deborah // EDIT// and then when he got off the phone with her he was back to his normal self. //EDIT// I guess you had to go through - he needed to talk with someone who had same experience as him.
2-50) ROOM TONE FOR DEBORAH
2-21) DEBORAH: Many people say that I know what you're going through and I can understand but they really can't. Because when those buildings were coming down all you thought was that you were going to die. //EDIT// And speaking to your family they can sympathize with you but they really can't understand exactly what you were feeling. Like I can say, you know we stepped over those beams and they were really hot. And I can say to him you know they were really hot and one of them cut me and did you get cut?
Deborah and Chuck also went to counseling. And Deborah found support and solace from her Pentecostal church. Eventually, they say they came to accept their role as survivors.
3-11) SOUND OF Swimming, DEBORAH: I thought you could swim, you're not even going anywhere... ESTABLISH IN CLEAR AND DIP UNDER
At the Diaz's house on Staten Island, the two families relax and take pictures while their kids play in the swimming pool. Deborah shudders when a plane flies overhead. But Adam says it's just a passing moment.
3-9) ADAM: She doing much better now, really much better. Things not bothering her like she was.
FADE SWIM SOUND UNDER DEBORAH
2-39) DEBORAH: I believe it has made me a better mom. I don't take things for granted. //EDIT// I'm a little more sensitive to the way I speak to my children.
1-110) CHUCK: I think I got a little closer to my kids and my wife, without a doubt. //EDIT TO 111// We're a little more tight knit. We do things, a lot more things together.
2-62) BARBARA: You're so glad you're still with your sweetie! Right? CHUCK: Yes. LAUGHS. (DIP UNDER)
But the anxiety's always there. Barbara still can't get over almost losing her husband.
2-61) BARBARA: I don't let him out of my sight. //EDIT// I worry about him all the time.
3-23) CHARLES READING: "˜Chuck, warm and affectionate birthday wishes for you.. (Dip under)
At the Sunday barbecue, the two families celebrate Chuck's 40th birthday. Deborah gives her new friend a card.
CONTINUE: "Happy birthday, dear friend.' Oh thank you. 9/11/01 buddies till eternity. HUGGING SOUNDS.
The Diaz and Mete families would like to get together to mark the first year anniversary. Both Chuck and Deborah say they will always be there for each other.
1-141) CHUCK: Deborah's a — hopefully she'll be a lifelong friend.
2-50) DEBORAH ROOM TONE TO SMOOTH
2-29) DEBORAH: As long as I live, the only thing that can separate me from him is death. That's it. Because we're connected now forever.
CHARLES DIAZ, CAPTAIN NYC SANITATION DEPARTMENT
79) My name is Charles Diaz, I'm a captain NYC sanitation police. I've been working for the department since 1989.
81) That day I sent in a sergeant over to our main office at 125 Worth Street to pick up our new radios. I'm in Staten Island. He comes across the radios saying that a plane just flew into the trade center. I was in my car. Went over the Verrazano. Followed Rescue 5 into the city. Parked my car on West Street. Got another officer with me. Went to see what we could do. Went around to the back of the building. We found some people who, I guess they were doing the Green Grocer stuff. And they were worried about putting their vegetables and fruit into the truck. We had to physically grab them pull them out of there. As we got towards Liberty Street the rumble came, the building fell. As we were running one officer dove under a fire truck, I was — like I said — picked up from shock wave and thrown head first into the street. Whether I broke my arm there I don't know.
82) It was something I never felt before. The rumble felt like the street was opening up. So as I was running, like I said, it picked me up and flung me across the street.
1-83) I was under some rubble. Then the cloud came and we just couldn't breathe. Total darkness. And I was calling out for officer down, after all the rubble stopped. And I heard a female's voice crying and she said follow the light. She had a flashlight. Turns out she was a school safety agent. Her name was Deborah Darrisaw Mete. And she made the light go back and forth. I made my way out of the rubble. Got to her. We hugged onto each other. Encouraging each other along the way. And along the way we picked up about 5-6 more people. We made our way into a Burger King on Cedar Street. Opened the door, went inside no water pressure people were using the toilet water to clean themselves — wash the stuff off their faces. I went to hop the counter of the Burger King. As I went to hop the counter I felt my arm snap. I had someone else hop the counter. What else happened, used Slurpee machine to wash faces... I called for emergency services, Ambulance came, took the people, I stayed behind...
(After second building fell he went into a pizzaria)
84) Just so happened that that Friday was my daughter's sweet 16. I got on the phone. Couldn't get in touch with my wife, got on phone with headquarters told them to call.. if anything happens tell my daughter I'm sorry I couldn't make it but I'll try.
WITH DEBORAH AFTER SHE SAVED HIM, TRYING TO FIND SAFETY
85) We were just encouraging each other, trying to make sure, talking about our families, we've got to live, gotta keep going. And we just encouraged each other to keep going.
86) You know we have kids. We both have kids. WE gotta make it for our kids.
87) She says she has children, husband who also works for the school system. And we were just going back and forth and then we lost track of each other there. She got into the ambulance. Walking through the streets a sector car saw me, threw me in the back brought me to worth street where they did the triage.
88) At :05) she wrote a little article in the Chief saying, she didn't know my name... wanted to make sure when knew I was OK because we lost track of each other. I called the reporter from the Chief, called her... we've been good friends ever since.
89) It was weird. Somebody you've never known. I was, we actually went to a restaurant in the Bronx cause she lived in teh Bronx, my wife and children are there. I didn't know exactly what she looked like because we were just covered with everything. I came out of restaurant to make sure reservations taken care of, she's standing there, hears me talking to wife, says I'll never forget that voice and we hugged each other. And we've been friends ever since.
HAS 19 YEAR OLD SON AND 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. MARRIED 20 YEARS IN AUGUST, HE TURNS 40 TOO.
ON CALLS TO EACH OTHER
*1-90) Psychologically it bothered us. All the people — why we lived and a lot of other people didn't. But that was our therapy. Talking about it.
91) She's very religious. And we just talking about there was a purpose that we made it out of there. Some reason why we lived.
ADMITS SURVIVOR GUILT
92) Oh, without a doubt yeah. I lost a friend who was a NYPD officer. James Leahy. He's got a family just like I do. And sure. Did feel guilty. Without a doubt.
(HE NEEDED SURGERY TO FIX HIS ARM, HAD BROKEN IT AND HAS SCREWS IN HIS ARM NOW. WAS PUT ON LIGHT DUTY AT HIS OFFICE IN THE STATEN ISLAND LANDFILL — HE'S IN CHARGE OF SANITATION POLICE THERE.)
COUNSELING
93) The department has people you can talk to. I talked to a few people, and like I said talking to Deborah helped.
DREAMS
94) My wife said I would be jumping up at night while I'm sleeping. And she would have to try to wake me up. It's just an experience unless you were there you can't —
WHAT HE REMEMBERS OF DREAMS
95) From what I remember mostly me yelling to everyone get out of the way and run. The feeling of the rumble, the sound was unbelievable like a freight train on top of you.
WHAT TRIGGERS IT
96) Actually the smell. Cause I still have part of my clothes, and I was covered with all the dust, asbestos.. that smell I'll never forget.
97) Some sort of a musty smell. But it was, just something I never smelled before. //EDIT// It was kind of sour. Especially they were flushing my eyes out, nostrils, I was coughing that stuff about a week.
HELPED AT FRESH KILLS WRECKAGE WHEN HIS ARM HEALED.
NOT BEEN TO GZ
98) I actually haven't been back to Ground Zero yet. I haven't been back there. I'm going to go, myself and Deborah are going to be going there for September 11th. For the anniversary.
WHY HE HASN'T GONE BACK?
*99) I really don't know why I haven't gone. I passed there. But I haven't really stopped to reflect. DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S KEEPING YOU AWAY? No, not really. My wife gets very emotional with that. Maybe I got to do it with her. With Deborah. For the closure.
WENT TO FRESH KILLS AND FOUND RADIO
100) I had lost my department radio that day. And the first load that they dumped out at Fresh Kills my radio came out. One of my officers told me FBI officer found my radio working. Yeah.
101) It was just total carnage. You wouldn't think that what's in front of you is the WTC. Everybody raking through finding ID, finding beepers. Saw buckets of beepers, cell phones, Ids, wallets.
TALKED TO THE CHAPLAINS TOO AT FRESH KILLS
102) It was you got to keep it in perspective, they tell you never forget but don't let it get you down, you got to live, life goes on. You've got to think of your family. They're right.
FAMILY
103) When I walked in the door my daughter was on the couch. My son wasn't home from school yet I believe. That day September 11th. She was on the couch, took one look at me started crying her eyes out gave her a hug. Hugged her and hugged her. Went to my wife, did same thing, my son...
104) Yelling at my why I was there (laughs) because they said we could have lost you.
105) Their main concern was why I went there when I could have died. Wasn't I thinking of them. I said of course I was thinking about them. But I had to think about a lot of other people too. Just to try and help.
106) Eventually they understood. My wife even now jokes with me, says if I ever hear something's wrong I'm going to find you and handcuff you so you won't leave.
107) No, I didn't think they were angry. They were kind of confused too. I love them very much and we got past it.
TREATED DIFFERENT
108) They did everything for me. Helped me with everything. I was in a lot of pain, especially after the surgery. Whatever I needed they did.
CHANGED RELATIONSHIP
109) I think I got a little closer to my kids and my wife without a doubt.
110) We're a little more tight knit. We do things, a lot more things together. I try to be there for them for whatever they need.
111) My daughter's a teenager. She getting into the car thing. Seventeen. She'll be seventeen this september again. We're talking she wants this, she wants that, she wants to be a nurse. I says good finish high school get into college and I get you a car.
112) I was always protective of her. She's my angel. I just, just want to make sure she's got a good head on her shoulders and try to point her in the right direction.
113) She, I guess she treats me the same. Maybe in the back of her mind.. we're very close. Close family.
WHAT'S CHANGED WITH FAMILY?
114) Actually they do a lot more for me. When I was hurt they would make sure I had taken my medications, making sure I was left alone. Things like that which whenever I took a nap, when they wanted something they would go to me Dad, Dad, Dad. Now they kind of leave me alone. //EDIT// It's not bad. My son used to jump in bed with my wife and I. My daughter never really did. Now she'll go in the room and nudge me. It's nice. Hopefully she'll grow up get married, have a career, nice life.
WIFE IS BARBARA DIAZ
115) Met in high school. High school sweethearts. Got married and been together ever since.
(Born in Brooklyn grew up SI and Barbara did too, she's now homemaker)
*1-116) In the beginning no, I couldn't talk to her. I really didn't want to talk about it. And she would try to nudge it out of me and out of me. We would sit there. Watch TV or whatever. Ah. She would see sometimes I get upset. But she was very loving, stayed with me, whatever I needed. We finally talked about it. Good to get it off your chest.
LET IT OUT 2 MONTHS LATER WHILE WATCHING TV SHOW ABOUT IT
117) Yeah, I kept it in. we were just sitting there. And then it all poured out.
118) She wouldn't press me she would just tell me if you want to talk, when you're ready I'm here for you. Which she's always been there for me. Finally broke out and we talked.
119) I guess she saw me getting upset and she started getting upset. And we just talked it all out.
*1-120) I didn't know at first what I wanted her to understand. I was, in a way I was guilty. I felt guilty. For them almost losing me. You know, that I put myself in that situation. Then I felt guilty I told her I'm sorry what I did. She understood, we got through it.
WHAT SHE SAID
121) You're never going to leave my sight again, I want you to call me every time, I love you this and that. It's nice.
MORE CONTACT
1-122) We talk all the time. I have my cell phone. When she goes out she tells me she's going certain place, if I'm going to be late I call her to tell her.
1-123) WE've talked so much, even before September 11th a lot of people say we're inseparable. Always together. Always talking. Probably not, maybe it's more talking. A little more daily contact.
WHEN HE WOULDN'T TALK
1-124) Yeah she was frustrated but she never yelled at me about it. Never got angry. Just always telling me I'm here. When you're ready to talk I'm here.
WHY HE DIDN'T TALK — ADMITS GUILT
1-125) Probably the guilt that I felt that I almost died and without saying goodbye or anything, that was always in the back of my head.
DAILY LIFE
1-126) All I have to do is look down at my arm at the scars and it brings me back.
127) It's there everyday. It doesn't interfere with my daily life. But it's there. I'll always have that memory.
NO PLANES
128) Actually we were supposed to go to Puerto Rico — that day I was making reservations to go to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving. Never made the reservations, I don't think I'll get on a plane. She won't get on a plane. We went to Disney in February. We drove. She doesn't want to get on a plane.
129) I drive in an unmarked police car. More aware of what's going on around me. //edit// sometimes you just drive around with blinders on, don't want to look. But the blinders are off. //edit// because of my job and what happened.
130) I don't think I look at people suspiciously. Just a little more aware of my surroundings.
131) I have a sister lives in Missouri, she says people around her don't understand why we're getting such special treatment technically because you get paid to do a job. And I tell her they've got to live through it.
132) I get special treatment from my family. (laughs) I didn't need anything the widows and orphans needed, I didn't ask for anything. The people who the firemen and police officers who died that day, they're the real heroes.
ON DEBORAH
*1-133) We were there together. You know. We were there together and I'll never forget her for it. I don't if she didn't have that light on I don't know whether I would have choked to death cause I couldn't breathe. Couldn't take a breath without getting stuff in my lungs. She helped get me out with that light.
THEY TALK EVERY FEW WEEKS
134) Everything family. Ah, it's you know it's great. Talk about what's going on in our lives. Her mother's from North Carolina, she was up there I talked to her mother on the phone. Nice talking to her mother. Talk about our lives.
*1-135) There's a special bond there. For something cause we went through. Nice bond. We're happy when we talk to each other.. it's nice.
135) Sometimes job frustrations, sometimes we both have job frustrations — who doesn't. We talk to each other and get through it.
LITTLE THINGS GET YOU DOWN?
1-136) I don't know if you call it frustration. It's a different perspective on life.
1-137) It's totally different. You always have that mundane stuff you have to deal with every day. But you look at life a little different.
1-138) No, no I look at my life different now.
1-139) Deborah's a — hopefully she'll be a lifelong friend.
DEBORAH METE
2-3) My name is Deborah MEE-tay and I'm a NYPD school safety agent.
She had been sent to evacuate the schools.
2-5) And I was standing on the corner of Liberty and Trinity. And after we evacuated the buildings one of the towers began to crumble. And I ran but unfortunately I didn't run fast enough or couldn't and I got covered with debris. And once I came to or stood up I heard a voice. And it was the voice of Captain Diaz. And he was saying help, I'm an officer I'm down, help. And I asked where are you because I couldn't see anything it was pitch black. I had reached for my radio and didn't' have it, it was lost. So I reached on my other side and took the flashlight I said wherever you are, I'm flashing it left to right. I said when you see it just follow it. And he said yes I see the light. I said follow the light. When he came to me we just found each other and embraced each other... found our way to a Burger King.
(the slush, soot.)
2-6) I thought that we were in the ambulance together. Being that we speak on a regular basis now I realize we weren't in the ambulance... got separated.
*2-7) You know how many people that saved or rescued someone and have no clue of who it was or ever got the chance to see that person even to this day. So I really thank God that we have that connection now. And I see him as a brother. I see as a friend. I see him as just everything. You know, I mean God is first and my husband. But he's just like a part of my body because we came out of that together. We helped each other.
2-8) Once he followed the light to me we embraced each other for a while, so excited about someone finding me... held hands it was like a trail. We started hooking up with other people along the way...
2-9) And I didn't even know that my leg was broken. My arm was messed up. And his wrist was broken. We didn't even have a clue that we were all broken up. I guess the adrenaline rush and excitement of grabbing someone because it was like a ghost town.
2-10) We talked about our families. I called him a lot and talked a lot about the strength I'm getting from the Lord, that God is really strengthening me...we must talk about it on a regular basis
2-11) and that really was a healing process. Because there were things that I really didn't remember that he brought back to remembrance. *Even now when we talk there are things that come back I didn't remember or he didn't remmber, maybe something I said or we did that day, or even a picture was painted that we saw. We talk about those things and it helps us to heal even more and it helps bring us closer together.
2-12) We went out to dinner. I got to meet his wife and children he got to meet mine and we bonded again. That was the first time. It's so wonderful. Because I didn't know what he looked like, he didn't know what I looked like because the last time we saw each other we were full of soot. So it was like a blind date. It was more like a blind date. I was saying he's nervous, I'm nervous, what does he look like, how his wife's going to react. I felt when we got to the restaurant like I was moving in slow motion, we just grabbed each other and embraced such a period of time it was unbelievable.
WHEN HE CALLED
2-14) I called and I said to him hello may I speak to Charles Diaz. And he says this is he. I says I'm Deborah Mete I'm the young lady that saved you that day, he says Oh my God.. he was so thankful... I said I'm not a hero. I do believe God put me there with that light to save you and this is not a hero effort, this is just something I was appointed to do. You don't have to thank you, you don't owe me anything, I'm just able to do what I was supposed to do.. and you helped me as well, we helped each other.
2-15) Then we began to recap some of the things. We spoke on our injuries because I didn't know what happened to him, he didn't know what happened to me. We reminisced. Then I called him, from that point on at least
2-17) From that point on at least twice a week we talk. We don't let 2 weeks go by, if I don't call him or he doesn't call me red flags go up and then we'll just say somebody has to call somebody and then we'll call and talk again, how's your week, how you doing, how are you coping. Kind of like, how you call it therapy.
2-18) And I think that's what we need because
*2-19) There's times you do feel down or you need to speak to someone, and I explained to him our families can't explain and experience what we went through so they're really no help. Because they weren't there. See we were there. And that's therapy for me and that's therapy for him because we both went through the same thing at the same time so we can relate to what we're feeling.
*2-20) Many people say that I know what you're going through and I can understand but they don't. They can't because when those buildings were coming down all you thought was that you were going to die. That was what you felt. And that's what you really believed. And speaking to your family they can sympathize with you but they really can't understand exactly what you were feeling. Like I can say, you know we stepped over those beams and they were really hot. And I can say to him you know they were really hot and one of them cut me and did you get cut? Whereas I can say that to my husband and he will say how can the beams be hot? He wouldn't understand the drama of the whole situation. So there were times he would say to me which way we were going to go and I said let's go left and he said let's go right. And then he asked me did I remember I said let's go toward the building and he directed me to go the other way. So things like that your family can't discuss with you because they weren't there.
WITH FAMILY
2-22) I call my husband and I say today I'm in such and such borough whereas before I didn't do that. So that also gave us a chance to recap, do things different.
2-23) You have to live each day as if it's your last.... When God does things he does it for a reason and I just believe that.
2-24) Well it was really, really rough. There were nights I didn't sleep in the dark. I always kept the television on, always kept the lights on. There would be times I wake up in the middle of the night I would be afraid to go to bathroom because dark in hall. // Things like me recapping seeing him, coming towards me he was white with soot. I just recap climbing over this big beam. Even today I still visualize that.
25) Airplanes, any loud noise outside of where I can see really make me nervous. And I overcame that by talking to him. And him working in the landfill, seeing everything that comes in it was hard for him too. So I would say sometime you have to close your eyes and do what you have to do. So I was dealing with one thing, he was dealing with another and we just helped each other deal with what we were going through but it was really, really rough.
*26) There were times I would sit and then just all of a sudden start crying and then I would get on the phone and call. I remember one time they showed something on the television and it really had me crying, I called him I really needed somebody to talk to and his wife answered the phone. And I was crying, boo-hooing and she said he's not here but I'll talk to you //what is your concern?// And she was so sympathetic as well. And then later on we laughed because he called me right away and said she's sentimental too and she started crying when I was crying. So he says she can't help you too much, she's weak too she'll start crying with you. SO it was funny. We laugh. Sometimes I cry on the phone. And says it's okay, it's alright. You know men don't really cry but you can hear it in the voice. So it's really good therapy for both of us and I told him
2-27) As long as I live, the only thing that can separate me from him is death. That's it. Because we're connected now forever.
2-28) Well I think he was a little shut down. He talked a lot with me. But a lot, sometimes I would have to pull things out. Are you okay, are you alright and he would say everything's alright but you could hear he wants to say more. So he would finally loosen up and he would tell me whatever it was that was his concern and I would try to help him.
2-29) I don't want him to feel that he owes me anything. And to me, I've just gained another brother.
DEBORAH HAS THREE KIDS, 16, 12 and 9. Ahmed was 9 year old at party. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP CHANGED?
2-31) I'm over it, it's kind of behind me don't think about it as much. Airplanes... it was hard for them to understand frightened.. sometimes I would shut down from them too.
(SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BURDEN HER KIDS AT SCHOOL)
2-32) Sometime I would shut down from them too, like I said I didn't think they would understand and then children being so young didn't want to affect them... it did affect them in school, they were disturbed by what had happened. But for most part like I said Charles has been great.
2-33) I mean any time I feel down I call him because he can relate. That's just, I call him before I speak to my husband because it's a difference. My husband's very supportive but he wasn't there. He can only say well I understand — you can't understand because you don't know what really happened.
2-35) You know the surroundings. If I say remember how it sounded that day when the buidlings came down, Charles can say I remember. It sounds like — you know. Or we ran left and we should have ran right. Or something like that. We try to figure out we were wrong, maybe were right. Whereas my husband can say I understand, I know what your going through. These are answers you can only give as an outsider. Because you weren't there. So that's why I feel it's important he and I stay connected. Because this is going to be in our memory for the rest of our lives. And there are going to be moments where we are going to go back into 9/11 memories, lapses and frightening moments where something's going to set us right back into 9/11(snap) one little thing can happen and we'll go into that day and I might have to pick up the phone and call him. Where I can't run and call my husband, you see what happened, remember what happened on that day. With Charles I can do that. I don't want to lose touch with him. I think that's the same thing he's feeling too. Cause I can have a bad day at work and call him and say this happened at work, it's just such a connection//it's a bond that we have.
*3-37) I believe it has made me a better mom. I don't take things for granted. There are times I just sit and talk to my children about life. Um, even the discipline in every area it has changed. I'm a little more sensitive to the way I speak to my children. I'm a little more sensitive to the places I take them. I've taught them also that you have to live each day as if it were your last because tomorrow's not promised to any of us. We've developed Church relationship... let them know because of God is the reason I'm here, they owe God because so many people lost mother and father... they understand that and there's such peace in my home, calm in my home, we pray together.
2-38) This has really built my faith up to trust and believe god. And I know he doesn't make mistakes. And I know my children are given to me to raise but they don't belong to me and I'm not nervous when they go out because I do pray God protect them...
HER KIDS WERE AFRAID AT FIRST, KEPT ON TOP OF HER
ALSO RELIED ON HER PASTOR AT THE PENTECOSTAL CHURCH WHERE SHE WORSHIPS IN THE BRONX. AND WENT TO A COUNSELOR A MONTEFIORE. LIKE GROUP SESSIONS BETTER.
2-41) There's times I still need to speak to someone who actually went through what I went thru because I'll have a flashback or something will come to my memory and I will have to call him to reconfirm if that happened or not. Or if I'm just having a dream.
2-42) I saw people jumping, I stepped over body parts, I saw plane parts that had fell into cars. I was standing actually under the building as it was burning with no clue it woud come down. Things like that I would call him and say did this happen or am I dreaming? And he would say yeah... or do you remember so and so and I would say yeah, because I didn't know where I was.
2-43) I couldn't go to my husband and say where was I, he wouldn't be able to tell me.
*2-44) If I didn't have Charles to this day I wouldn't know where I was. It's because of him I remember where I was //edit// Trinity and Cedar place, that's where I was.
WENT BACK SEVERAL TIMES, SAW THE HOLE AND CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S WHERE THEY WERE.
2-45) That would be his question, why did we survive and not othe rppl and I explained to him what happened was God has to let some things happen. Because these are the last days. And that day he had to let that happen because he had to take some ppl who were ready, take some ppl who had many chances, leave some behind to testify, to tell the story, to say this is what happened but I'm here...
*2-46) Because God was working. Because when I was under the rubble I did see a light myself. And that's when I stood and got strength. And that strength led me to help him. And I told him God wanted us to live to hold it to ourselves but to tell as many ppl as possible what we went through, how we survived, why we think we survived, and I think that's why we survived. Not everyone survived. God was making a statement that day.
2-47) It's wonderful to know that we both survived, we're both still in contact with one another. And it's just great.
2-48) ROOM TONE
BARBARA DIAZ in kitchen
Recalls meeting Deborah in the restaurant.
2-50) I didn't say anything I kept my mouth closed. And when he walked out she said oh my god that's him... they hugged and kissed and I stood in the back and cried like a big dope. She's so nice.
2-51) I talk to her, yeah. I'd rather them be friends.
2-52) She helped him a lot. I don't know, cause he went through a lot. Nightmares and yelling and carrying on. And once he started to talk to her I guess they talked about what happened and it got less and less and the nights wore on. It was a lot for him. But she's, I always want to thank her when I see her. If it weren't for her he wouldn't be here. (If I keep talking I'm going to cry...)
TALKING TO HER HELPED HIM
*2-53) He was very quiet. Like what he would do, he would sit in front of the TV watch the news constantly. //But I did the same thing. But I wasn't there. //But he was reliving it. And I think once he talked to Deborah he wasn't as bad, he was able to open up and talk to me. And she helped him a lot. Whether he helped her a lot I don't know. If it weren't for her he wouldn't be right yet. He kept a lot in. But once he talked to her he opened up to me and he's been okay.
2-54) I think about it and I get very upset. Very.
2-55) He was really bad. Very restless, very restless. I'm surprised I don't have black eyes. With the fists and he would yell... get out of there, and he'd scream no, no, and then run. He was yelling at somebody to run. And the fists were flying and the legs were flying, he was bad. Really bad.
2-56) He was really quiet. And I wanted to talk to him. And he started to but then he'd stop because I'd get too upset. So I really was no support.. tried to be but then I'd cry. But once he did talk to Deborah he was better. And then I held back the tears and I was a little better.
2-57) ROOM TONE FOR :15
2-59) I don't let him out of my sight. More so now. I just, I worry about him all the time. And we call each other 100 times a day. We used to call each other 50 times a day, now it's 100 times.. I think I annoy the hell out of him... he's always calling me. (laughs)
2-60) BARBARA: You're so glad you're still with your sweetie! Right? CHUCK: Yes. LAUGHS. 2-62) CHUCK: Twenty years married, 24 years together.
SAYS HIS ARM IS STILL BOTHERING HIM, LIMITED MOBILITY.
2-63) I do I get very emotional, I can't help it I cry at a commercial now. //EDIT// I was never that sensitive before, I cry at anything.
2-64) I cry all the time (whisper) I just look at him and thank God that he's here with me. There I go!
DEBORAH HELPED HER BY HELPING CHUCK
**2-65) Well my concern was Chuck. He needed it. And um, they were on the phone all the time. Like he would be very, very quiet. Just sit around. TV on but not watching it. Just in a stare. And I'd try to talk to him and of course I started crying so I was no help. But then he'd get on the phone with Deborah and I would never listen to their conversation. But he'd be on the phone for a while and when he got off the phone with her he was back to his normal self. Just, I guess you had to go through, he needed to talk with someone who had same experience as him. I'm jst listening to his story, but she knows what he went thru. And he would be right back to his usual Chuck right after he talked to her, smiling. So she made a big difference in him. She's a doll.
2-66) Like with Deborah she knows what happened. He doesn't have to go into detail and say when I was buried under the rubble.. it was better for him to talk to her. Instead of explaining everything.
*2-67) And once, after he talked to her and he was back to his usual self then it was easier for me. And then he would open up and talk to me. She made a big difference.
2-69) He was a, I was a senior and he was a sophomore. And I tried to fix him up with a friend of mine. See how that worked out. //edit// and 24 years we're still together. And we get closer and closer each day. Thank God.
2-71) People ask me if it bothers me that they're friends. I say of course not. I think it's the best thing that ever happened. If it weren't for her he wouldn't be where he is now. I think it's the best thing that he met her.
2-72) He was telling me about how this woman helped him and follow the light thing and it was her leg, they were like holding onto each other...
2-74) KITCHEN TONE FOR ABOUT 20 SECS
VALERIE
*2-76) When he tells me no I try to calm down and everything. //EDIT// Because I don't want to get angry at him and then like have something happen next, if he dies I can't apologize or anything to him.
*2-77) It upsets him. Yeah. One time I wanted to know what was going on. We were eating dinner. And we were at a restaurant and I wanted to know what it was like and everything. He got so upset he started crying. I felt really bad. I try not to bring it up. I talk about it with my mom. How sad it is all those people died. And how mean they can be to do that.
2-79) I don't want him to get upset anymore. If he wants to talk about it I'll talk about it but I don't want to bring it up any more.
2-80) DEN SOUND FOR VALERIE
2-81) MOM talking with CHRISTOPHER about potato salad....Then he found the chicken, tray inside....they were munching last night, they had to test it to make sure it was cooked...
2-82) BARBARA She pushed the cat off?
2-83) OUTDOORS SOUND, PLAIN
2-84) CHRISTOPHER PLAYING BALL
2-86) at :12 "Well my goodness! Bad traffic huh. That's okay, how are you...."
2-87) "Hi, how are you. DEB: I miss you!" CHUCK: Yeah...come on in back."
2-89) We're here... Hi. Chris, hi. How are you. My father in law George... hi how are you.... Deborah, well he's hear about you but never saw you....
2-90) DEB: Nice house. I heard you were extending it so we could move up, really be close...
2-94) Water, soda, juice... (chatting and photo sounds) :20
2-96) DEB: You're not going to outbeat me sister...BARB: Oh yeah I'll take mine out..
2-97) chatting about food, basketball in background
2-98) More chatting about Deb not eating
2-99) Chatting about 9/11, can sound misc
2-101) Laughs, BARB: Then I didn't hear from him for hours. DEB: He was with me. BARB: I didn't know that. I didn't know. AHMED: He was with superwoman....
TOGETHER THEY RECALL THE STORY OF THAT DAY. THEIR FAMILIES LISTEN IN AWE — THE TWO DIAZ CHILDREN AND METE'S NINE YEAR OLD SON AHMED, WHO CALLS HIS MOTHER SUPERWOMAN.
***2-102) DAD: You dragged him out? CHUCK: She moved the light back and forth... I finally got whatever was on me off me, I kept stumbling and stumbling until I found her.
AHMED: Remember when you told us it was like a ghost town. DEB: It was like a ghost town. You remember Michael Jackson Thriller. When all these people started rising looking white, coming at you slow. Crumbling things, moving things and papers. CHUCK Everything still falling. DEB: That's what it sound like... BARB: Did you see the buildings fall. DEB: Yeah... it sounds like dominoes. The ground was shook. Next thing we heard was ..... it gets real loud. Next thing I knew it was all on top of me.
??*2-103) The Burger King story, little Mexican guy Chuck says he almost shot him...I went to go shoot the door open and all of a sudden I see a guy there... Deborah is funny on woman who called... the slurpy stuff.
(Left at 103 and 4 mins)
*2-105) DEB: I had crutches, I was so sore I couldn't even use the crutches. CHUCK I walked out of St Vincents. They cut a hospital gown around my gun belt... I'm walking out there's Giuliani having a press conference...
2-106) My head was full of debris, I had pebbles in my eyes for weeks... CHUCK coughing up that stuff.
SPOUSES COMPARE SLEEPLESSNESS
**2-107) ADAM: Every hour you just kept tossing and turning. //EDIT// DEB: I was saying stuff? ADAM: Yeah you were saying stuff. It's coming again and stuff like that. So I could get no sleep. //EDIT// She did it many nights for months. BARBARA: He was yelling. He would scream. Run, Run! or No don't go in there. All different things and he always had fists. Always. Always going. I'm surprised my face is still intact.
2-108) DEB: It was crazy. I remember going to the therapist. I was sit in the office with the lady and they were doing some work outside and she — it just sound like a rumble. //EDIT// And I tell you my heart was in my feet and I was almost out the door. She says what's wrong. I said oh my God, it's happening again. She says no they're working outside, I see you're still nervous.
2-109) DEB: It's something you'll never forget, I'll tell you that. CHUCK: You can never forget.
GOING BACK TO GROUND ZERO
2-110) DEB: There's nothing there now. I went back and they have it fenced off so I was looking through the gate, I took a piece of the rock. Stuck my hand through the gate and took a piece...
2-111) CHUCK: I remember you telling me to follow the light. DEB: You were saying help, help I'm down. You said I'm an officer somebody please help. Officer down, an officer down. I said I'm an officer too, where are you. CHUCK: That part I remember... DEB: You said I'm over here, I said I can't say you (laughs) I remember shuffling.. it seems like you were so far away, it took you an hour to get to me....I heard things falling around you and stuff like you were making your way. I said can you see me, you said I see the light I'm coming...
2-112) DEB: And then when he got there it was like a big wall between you and I. I had to pull you over the wall... and then we stood there. I said look at the tree and we hugged each other. You said let's get the hell out of there... CHUCK: I said we got to get out.
**3-4) CHUCK You wanted to look around and everything, said let's get the hell out of here. We didn't know which way to walk ... DEB remember that big beam, I said I can't move I can't get over.. CHUCK: I grabbed your arm... we had no choice. DEB: So I put my arm around him, he pulled me over...
CHUCK SHOWING HIS TATTOO
*3-5) DEB: oh that's nice! Hah! You just got that. Look at that, twin towers with the eagle and a flag, 9/11. Why didn't you put I'm a survivor!?
ADAM ON HOW IT HELPED HER, he's school custodian
3-8) Every day, almost like every day she crying, crying. Think it's going to happen again and again. //EDIT// It help her a lot.
3-9) ADAM: She doing much better now, really much better. Things not bothering her like it was. First couple of months she crying all the time. We be sitting everybody eating dinner she get up at the dining table... like WTC coming down on me. I say no, come on, calm yourself down you be alright. She's much better now. Really much better.
3-10) ADAM: Every now and then like even right now, she hear an airplane she get nervous. Or one time after we went to Atlantic City, the tall building she don't want to go more than 9 floor....
3-11) SPLASHING IN POOL SOUND, ADAM: It look like you're fighting...
3-15) GENERIC OUTDOOR QUIET WITH FEW VOICES
3-17) SOUND IN HOUSE: Oh look at all the kitty cats.. somebody's a cat fanatic, I guess it's Barbara
*3-18) SOUND IN HOUSE Ah ah, look at the wedding picture my goodness. ... Partridge Family. Everyone says I look like Freddy Prinze.
*3-20) DEB: Cats everywhere... if you didn't like cats you'd have to like them after you left here....
DEBORAH'S PRESENT TO CHUCK
3-21) Look at the bag, Chuck laughs... (ripping noise) DEB: You've got to read the cards out loud.
3-22) Let's see, special affection on your birthday. Dear friend... you made a difference for the better in my life I treasure you.
**3-23) Chuck, warm and affectionate birthday wishes for you.. my life ahead might be marvelous and bright especially for you... 9/11/01 buddies till eternity. HUGGING SOUNDS.
BARBARA LEAVES THE ROOM CRYING
She left again. Come here Barb.
3-24) CAT JUMPS ON TABLE, "you can't have any.. DEB: I don't want coffee.. I'll have fruit...
DESSERT CHATTING
3-25) CHUCK Hey valerie, come here for a minute please....DEB he takes some snacks...
*3-26) DEB Spiritually it helped me a lot too, a couple of people expressed anger towards God...
3-27) September 11th didn't, I didn't find the Lord on September 11th I already knew him but I became closer to him....
TRACK 2, first 30 seconds is sound
CHARLES DIAZ, Captain Sanitation Police. 646-885-5038 john campellini?
(Department ceremony on 6-4, awards for people who have done outstanding service
Ground zero and fresh kills.)
Track 2, :32 "I was over on Trinity by Church trying to find my men, I'm a captain with the Sanitation police, and all of a sudden all hell broke loose. We heard the building starting to collapse, we ran. I got buried under rubble don't know how I'm alive. One of my sergeants jumped under a parked truck that saved him. And I just unburied myself and tried to help whoever I could. Tried to find traffic enforcement agents, school safety officers, brought them into an open Burger King, tried to wash out faces, couldn't see in front, black, choking, made way out and here.
My offices were here already. One of my inspectors wives was in the WTC. I don't know what happened to her.
I helped the traffic enforcement agents, school safety,
29) we did what we could.
People injured all over crying for help... we couldn't see, sun covered over.
Broke my wrist or my arm, don't know.
YOU'VE GOT QUITE A SLING WITH TAPE AND RULER? That's all they have.
*I saw people buried, crawling out of rubble like I did,
2-2:37 saw traffic agent, don't even remember her name, she had flashlight and we made our way through darkness. Picked up some stragglers along the way.