In Gratitude

Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer, on WNYC glad to be with you live this Thanksgiving morning. Whether you're in the kitchen making food or ready like you might be doing on a normal Thanksgiving, or whether you're one of the people spending the day alone, or nearly alone. We figured it would be a good day to be together live and not just play a rerun, even though our reruns are also great. We've got a great one for tomorrow. What are we going to do live this morning? Well, we have lots more music to play. I picked out a selection of thank you songs for the day. We also have a few guests coming up to talk about gratitude, even in the midst of very challenging times.

We'll have some fun with a few of you who will get to thank somebody for something live on the air. I can't wait for the first one of those in a little while that should be really fun, as we'll actually call up the people who a few of our listeners want to thank and put them on the air together, and there is a surprise element of that. We've tried to set this up so that people who are being called don't know who's going to be thanking them on the radio, so we'll be doing that in a little bit. Mostly what we'll do is take your calls and just talk to each other. Here's how we'll do it. Since this Thanksgiving, I will put out a menu of questions that you can call in and answer. You can think of it as a buffet table of calling questions.

By the way, remember, buffet tables will anyone ever eat at buffet restaurants again, I will admit to liking those really big mass-market Chinese buffet places. I know it's a guilty pleasure. Who knows if I'll ever feel comfortable doing that, again. There's a little neighborhood buffet place in Queens that my parents say is their favorite restaurant where my family goes on special occasions. I hope we can all go there again some time, but I digress back to the buffet of caller questions-answer, whichever one you want.

Number one, call in with a person place, or thing you would like to thank for helping you through this intense year of 2020, 646-435-7280, 646-435-7280. Very simple a person, place, or thing you would like to thank for helping you through this intense year of 2020 or call in and tell us what kind of Thanksgiving you're having compared to normal years. If you changed your holiday plans at anything like the last minute because COVID is rising the way it is right now.

Maybe you looked yourself in the mirror a few days ago, and you said, "Self what am I doing planning that trip, or that family gathering in my house," or as someone quoted in the Washington Post this week, put it very bluntly, after changing her family's plans. "No one wants to be the one who kills Nana?" Can't get more blunt than that in the Washington Post, but does that sound like you? Call us if you have changed your Thanksgiving plans at relatively the last minute or just tell us how you're doing it this year, compared to normal years? My family for the record is gathering on Zoom.

Nobody from the five households that would normally gather are breaking our pods. We will have the five households on Zoom. How about you? 646-435-7280. By the way, on that point, a Marist poll found that 74% of Democrats are downsizing their Thanksgivings today, but only 39% of Republicans. Even that's polarized politically this year. You can also say if your degree of thanksgiving distancing has caused a political problem in your family. If so, how did you resolve it? If you did resolve it, but all of that is our second call-in menu item. How are you doing Thanksgiving this year? And did you change your Thanksgiving plans at relatively the last minute because of COVID?

For dessert, we invite you to call with your post COVID fantasies. Have you started having these yet? I have. What are you going to do when you feel it's safe to really go out again? In the old ways to gather again, in the old ways to travel, in the old ways again, to go out in the old ways again, we'll put that glimmer of hope for the future in the mix of our questions too for today. Call us with your post COVID fantasies. Have you started having these yet? What are you going to do when you feel it's safe enough again? By the way, everyone who calls on any of these gets a bonus question, and that is simply what are you eating for Thanksgiving today? 646-435-7280.

As your calls are coming in, join us for a few minutes. Joining us for a few minutes is Tara Parker-Pope who writes the well column for the New York Times. When COVID was new, she started a gratitude practice. Maybe she can help us feel real gratitude in a year of so much pain. Hi, Tara, thanks for giving us a little bit of your holiday Happy Thanksgiving.

Tara Parker-Pope: Happy Thanksgiving to you. This is a fun show. I love it. I'm grateful to you for being with us today. It's great of you.

Brian: Thank you. It's just starting out, so I hope it works out over the next two hours. Back on March 19, you wrote about adding a hand washing and gratitude exercise to some other mindfulness practices that you do. Set the scene for us. It's mid-March, we're heading into the season of death and illness and anxiety and isolation, and you land on the word gratitude. Can you explain how you came to that?

Tara: Well, I was hearing a lot from readers, and people were-- it was interesting reading that column back now because so much time has passed. We had a sense then you know, that this was a long haul, this wasn't going to be something that was over quickly, and we had to get used to that idea. I know from a lot of research that one really easy simple way to cope with stress is a gratitude practice, there's a lot of science behind this. It gets you out of that anxious lane. It focuses you on things that make you happy.

Even though from MRI study, so the gratitude practice, they can see the changes in the brain began in a research where people had received counseling, and one group has done gratitude writing. Then they looked at their brains and there's a real difference in how they deal with stress and depression. For me, at the same time we were all developing these new habits, hand washing, and cleaning, and just, we were all very freaked out. I mean, remember? I couldn't really do the Happy Birthday song that just made me a little nuts. I was like, "That's just stupid."

I started thinking when I was washing my hands, and we were really nervous at the time. You're supposed to wash every finger and wash your hands very thoroughly. I would do 10 gratitudes. If you can do, I've just made that a noun. My thumb would be health care workers. I think about first responders, I would think about the people in the grocery store, would think about my family. I would just start to think about all the things that I felt very fortunate to have in my life, and It really calms me.

I know that gratitude is a calming experience anyway. Everyday should be a gratitude day, but this was just a way for me, and I still do it. When I wash my hands now, I'm very conditioned just to think of 10 things. Sometimes it gets repetitive, but every now and then I come up with a new one. Sometimes it's like the soap dispenser. I like the smell of the soap. It can be it can be silly, it can be--

Brian: Yes, 10 is a lot

Tara: Yes, 10 is a is a lot. Sometimes I'll be like, "I'm grateful that I'm almost done washing my hands," if I couldn't think of something, but it's just about getting in that mindset, getting out of that anxious place, and putting yourself in a better place. We all have things to be grateful for.

Brian: Take us a little bit into the deeper science of that because you wrote in that article that a gratitude practice doesn't sound like much, but you know from research that a daily gratitude practice can have some concrete, physical benefits. What does that research show?

Tara: Well, I think one of the most interesting studies is the Berkeley study I just mentioned, where they had 300 people, so it's good-sized study. These are people who were struggling. It's not just like happy people do well with gratitude, they wanted to look at people who were suffering, and everybody got counseling. Then one group did a routine writing exercise. They wanted to make sure it wasn't the process of writing that was helpful.

One group just did counseling. One group did counseling and a writing exercise, and the third group did counseling, and they wrote a letter of gratitude. They didn't even have to mail it. They just had to write a letter expressing gratitude to a person, about something. It was just a gratitude writing exercise. What they found as they studied these three groups, there was just a marked difference in how the gratitude group was improving in terms of mental health. What was interesting about it is that it had a lasting effect about-- I might have the timing slightly wrong, but I believe it was three months later, they came back, and they did an MRI study. They had people do a gratitude exercise in the MRI.

What they found is that the people who have this experience in the gratitude writing practice had much more activation in the brain than the people who were new to gratitude. It has this lasting effect, and it does seem to change our brain when we practice gratitude.

Brian: Cumulative effect, it sounds like you're saying too?

Tara: Yes, it's fascinating, and I think that it's a really good way for people who-- Not everybody gets meditation or likes it or finds it simple to do. I think what's interesting is that a gratitude practice is a form of meditation. It's a form of disconnecting from the stress of daily life and, putting your brain sort of a restful happy place. It is a really simple form of meditation. It's just so easy to do.

Some people at night before bed they write down three things they're grateful for, or in the shower they think, "What am I grateful for today?" or they're taking a walk and they appreciate the fall leaves and the dogs and the children and I think I just love living in Manhattan. I do that every day. That's a gratitude practice and if we just remind ourselves in these moments to just check in with these feelings of gratitude, it can really go a long way toward relieving your stress long-term.

Brian: We got you nailed there. You're grateful that you live in Manhattan and for your soap dispenser. I think we've established that in this conversation. Take our bonus question, what's on your plate today?

Tara: Well, I'm very excited about it. My daughter and I are a pod. She's a college student, but she's staying at a friend's apartment a few blocks away, and she's telling me a delicious butternut squash soup with Brown butter. I'm very excited about that because she loves to cook and I love it when she cooks for me. I taste the love. We're doing that and then traditional we're getting a Turkey breast and some traditional sides and Apple pie and just hanging out simple. Simple Thanksgiving for two.

Brian: Oh, for two, so no Zoom giving?

Tara: We will check in with family. Definitely I've got family in New Mexico in Dallas and San Antonio. I've got family all over so we'll check in with everybody.

Brian: With a core Thanksgiving for two Tara Parker-Pope writes the well column for the New York Times. Thank you so much. Happy Thanksgiving.

Tara: Thank you. Happy thanksgiving.

Brian: Brian Lehrer on WNYC with you live this Thanksgiving morning, because we may be socially distanced, but we don't have to be a part. We've got a menu of caller questions on the table for you to chime in on choose any one call-in with a person place or thing you would be thankful for helping you through this intense year of 2020. How are you doing Thanksgiving differently this year? What are you dreaming about for when the pandemic ends and Kenya in Harlem, you're on WNYC Kenya. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for calling in.

Kenya: Thank you so much for taking my call, Brian. I love listening to you. I often do when I'm home, but I am a first-time caller because I just listened so often I don't even call in because people tend to get to my thoughts before I can get to you. Today I am very thankful for the honorable Mayor, Norman Dinkins, and his life cycle through New York, and his historic fingerprint on the national monument known as the African burial ground in '92. He is almost single-handedly responsible for stopping the excavation, allowing for the excavation to be dug up by Africans and African-Americans and sent to Howard, subsequently, leading to having in 2007 the National Monument erected at 290 Broadway.

Brian: That is great. You said Norman Denkins, I know you meant David Dinkins, but it shows that you're one of the few people in the city who knows his middle name.

Kenya: Yes. I know he's David, but if you say David to me at this time, I'll say King David. As I am comically excited about the reference to an homage to the royalty of our new president and his picks.

Brian: Oh, boy. If you missed it yesterday go to the web and listen to our attribute segment yesterday for mayor Dinkins with David Patterson, I think you'd really like it.

Kenya: Yes, I did. Yes, I couldn't call you yesterday. I did listen though because I go back and listen to the shows I missed. I was really honored by that. As you always are always quintessentially on point with what is happening in America, what is happening in New York, and especially what is happening in our community. I'm grateful.

Brian: Well, that's too nice. You want to tell us how you're doing Thanksgiving differently today from normal and something that's going to be on your plate?

Kenya: Well, my family is Southern bound and Texas bound. I am the only New Yorker that is still here. I will do because I'm eating healthier. I'm a year older and I truly don't eat meat the way that people do, I'm having salmon and I'm making salad and some couscous with some squash that will be a meal that I will share because I can't cook for one person. I have five brothers growing up. I don't know how to do that. I will cook enough of it and then share with anybody in the building that didn't feel like cooking.

Brian: Very sweet. All right, everybody in Kenya's building in Harlem, you're on notice free salmon. Kenya, thank you so much. Happy Thanksgiving.

Kenya: Thank you so much. Have a great, great Thanksgiving and a wonderful rest of the week. Thank you.

Brian: Thank you too. Tia in Queens, you're on WNYC. Hi, Tia. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you so much for calling in.

Tia: Hi, Brian always loved calling in, I'm calling from Queens NYC on stolen Lenape land. We need to give the land back to indigenous people, but I'm calling to shout out. Brian, I had a year, I was in a terrible debilitating accident February 22nd I shattered my elbow. I had severe impact trauma to the entire left side of my body, I went into this pandemic not being able to wash my hands, not being able to hug my son, not being able to feed myself or bath myself and my friend, Alexa Weitzman, community activists, mom, amazing cook, acupuncturist, crafter president of CB6, she picked my kid up from school every day.

She drove my kids to camp. She went grocery shopping for me. She did the things that I couldn't do, and she lifted me up and supported me and supported my family during the incredibly hard year. We're a restaurant family, we lived through the collapse with the restaurant industry. My husband just left for work now. Governor Cuomo said that we shouldn't be eating with more than 10 people yet restaurant workers all over New York City are going to be working in rooms today with dozens of people eating and drinking and laughing and talking and yelling with no masks.

I'm just so thankful for Alexa who really held it down for me and was a mom to me when I couldn't be a mom to all the people who rely on me. This was hard year and she was an amazing friend. I love you, Alexa, she's a die-hard Brian listener. She calls in, we both call in or talk to you a couple of times, Brian. I'm just thankful for my friendships with revolutionary women and women who know how to build community.

Brian: That's beautiful and beautifully said and I can only imagine the situation you were in having got injured in February, just before the pandemic made it so much harder to do everything for anybody. Then so obviously doubly harder for you to do everything with the restrictions you were already under physically. Oh, my goodness, and I hear the emotion in your voice for Alexa. Hopefully, Alexa is out there today and hearing that-

Tia: She's listening. I love you, Alexa. I love you.

Brian: You want to say anything about what's on your plate or how are you doing Thanksgiving differently today?

Tia: What's on my plate normally we go to Boston to be with my cousins and my aunts. This year it's just me and our roommate and our two kids, my husband's working and we made way too much food. I put out a call, I'll be driving some food over to my stepdad who only lives 10 minutes away and Fresh Meadows, but because of COVID we didn't want him to come over.

Brian, as a restaurant family, we have to be really, really strict in our lives because the exposure that we have is through the daily work that my husband does. We otherwise have to lock ourselves in the house to try to keep our chances of getting COVID down. We've known so many people sick with COVID. We're just locked down. We're going to eat too much and just be happy that none of us got sick this year. We had a lot of exposure.

Brian: I'm glad you checked in with us Tia, I'm glad you're healthy. Thank you very, very much. Happy Thanksgiving.

Tia: Thanks so much. Have a good one, Brian.

Brian: It looks like Cindy in Dunbury has a gratitude practice that she wants to share. Cindy, you're on WNYC. Hi there. Hi.

Cindy: Hi, good morning everyone. Thank you so much. I'm so, so grateful for WNYC, that's a big thing in my life, but for about four or five years my husband and I have had a daily gratitude practice, actually right before we go to sleep at night. It started with three things that we were grateful for. Now it's really turned into a whole litany of things. I feel myself going through my day just thinking about things that I'm going to say at the end of the day, whether it's am I outside now taking a beautiful walk, and there's no rain and my family is healthy. Little things like your guest said. Even little things, but it really changes my focus for the entire day, which has been so important for me.

Brian: I'm glad you shared that with everybody. Maybe some other people can pick it up. What are you doing this Thanksgiving compared to normal?

Cindy: Well, it's just my husband and myself and it was always a family tradition of my mom to have a new person at every Thanksgiving table. Of course, we're not doing that this year but instead, I'm cooking new dishes. I love to cook. We're vegetarians. I've gotten some great new recipes from Deb at Smitten Kitchen and New York Times. I'm trying a vegetarian skillets, spanakopita spinach pie, and a wonderful green bean salad, and a roasted cabbage with walnuts and parmesan and pumpkin pie. It's going to be a lovely day for the two of us and watching some movies and Zooming with family in California and Brooklyn and Philadelphia. It'll be a nice day.

Brian: Lovely, lovely, lovely. Sounds lovely, lovely, lovely. You want to get a shout out at our one other caller question, which is are you already fantasizing about things that you will do when the pandemic lift?

Cindy: Yes. Absolutely, yes, because we have a 20-month-old, amazing granddaughter in Santa Monica and my fantasy is to be there as soon as I can.

Brian: That is really cool. Cindy, thank you very much. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for sharing your gratitude practice. Let's go next to Rachel in Ridgewood, who's got a change of plans story for us. Hi, Rachel. You're on WNYC. Happy Thanksgiving.

Rachel: Hi, Brian. Happy Thanksgiving. I was telling your screener, my friends and I, we've been in a pod this whole pandemic and we were going to have dinner today, but since none of us could get tested all the lines were crazy and it's raining today, we can't eat on my roof deck. We're moving the whole dinner to tomorrow. We're going to have a reschedule Thanksgiving, and it's going to be on a Friday.

Brian: Oh, I like that. I've always been a big advocate of moving your birthday if it comes on a day when you can't celebrate or something bad is going on. I'm going to celebrate my birthday in a week and a half when it's Saturday night and I know I can see this band that I like that kind of thing.

Rachel: Yes. I actually have plans for that too. I'm born on December 31st and I hate that date. It's a terrible day to have a birthday. I'm moving my to July so I can have a beach birthday this year.

Brian: Or you could move New Year's Eve like change your own year. They have the Roman calendar, this calendar. You could have the Rachel calendar, and start it on January 18th, or whatever you want.

Rachel: Yes. Thanksgiving is on a Friday in my calendar and my birthday is in January now.

Brian: Well, Happy Thanksgiving when you do it. Thank you very much for calling us and sharing your plans and sharing your change of plans. Lila in Miami Beach. You're on WNYC. Happy Thanksgiving, Lila.

Lila: Hello, Brian. Happy Thanksgiving.

Brian: And to you. How's the weather down there today?

Lila: Oh my God. All right. It's beautiful. It really is. It's 72 and there's not a cloud in the sky and it's beautiful. I was telling your screener that this is like the third time or fourth time that I'm calling you, but you have kept me sane. I want to thank you because you kept me sane throughout this whole year. I lost my job. I was in medical devices and I couldn't get into the hospitals obviously and everything went down. I am divorced. I have cats. I don't have family and with DeSantis and the whole Republicans down here, you kept me out of my fears. I was ready.

This was my plan. If Trump won, I was going to take the cat and myself and hide in a cargo boat and go no matter where. It doesn't matter. My life here was over. Thanks to you and all your guests, and all the beautiful conversations that you extract out of them. I'm still hearing. I'm still saying [unintelligible 00:25:11] thank you for it. You have no idea.

Brian: I'm really touched, Lila. I'm on the verge of losing it myself listening to you say that. I will say to everybody else, this is obviously a self-selecting group. If you're listening to this show on Thanksgiving morning, you obviously like this show. We're not going to have a run of people calling up and thanking me. Lila, it sounds like it meant an extra amount to you to have all the connection that all the people who make the show and our guests on the show contribute. Thank you, thank you for saying it out loud. What are you going to do today? Now that you've made us jealous in rainy New York, and I asked you to do it. I did ask you the weather down there.

Lila: You're going to kill me because I just got a job. I got a job with a laboratory actually there in New York. I'm going to be representing them down here and a shout out to [unintelligible 00:26:09] to the labs. Thank you for giving me a job and I went and got myself [unintelligible 00:26:13]. That's what I'm having for Thanksgiving and it's me and the cat.

Brian: Nice. Lila, thank you again for the beautiful expression of thanks. Thank you for calling in from Miami Beach. In fact, I remember and really appreciated some of your political calls during the presidential campaign. We're being some of our eyes and ears for reporting for the rest of the listeners, what's going on in Florida. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We'll keep talking.

It is Thanksgiving Day live on the Brian Lehrer Show. Now to the first of our Thanksgiving Day surprise thank you calls. As some of know we invited listeners yesterday to email us if you want to give a surprise thank you on the air, on the radio, to someone you're grateful for this year. The listeners who are doing this gave us the name and contact info of the person they want to thank. We have one of those people on the air right now. It's a special ed teacher named Jennifer. Hi, Jennifer. I imagine this is weird for you, but happy Thanksgiving and welcome to WNYC.

Jennifer: Hi, Brian. How are you?

Brian: I'm okay. Everybody knows what's going on. By law, we had to get your permission to put you on the radio. As you know the surprise part, since it's not a surprise that you're on, the surprise part is who's going to come on with you right now to thank you for something. Do you think you've guessed who it is?

Jennifer: I honestly have no clue. Your producer Amina was so sweet yesterday when she contacted me and I honestly didn't know if this was real at first. This is so exciting that someone went out of their way to contact you and to say thank you to me. I have no clue who it could be. There's so many amazing people that are in my life. I'm not sure.

Brian: I can only imagine how much it must have seemed like a scam now that you mentioned it. I get these calls. "This is Amazon calling to say somebody has hacked your account." No, you're a scammer trying to get me to give you my credit card number. I'm sure-

Jennifer: Absolutely.

Brian: -would Amina call out of the blue from, "Yes, we're from the Brian Lehrer show at WNYC radio and we want to--" what did you do first think?

Jennifer: The first thing I felt bad, but she originally texted me. I wrote back I said, "Is this a fake? Is this a scam?" Then I wrote back saying, "Well, I guess if it was a scam, you wouldn't be honest with me so that was a silly question." We laughed about that back and forth for a couple of minutes. Then she started, I felt bad. It's almost like I was asking her to give me hints that this is real. Eventually, she was so sweet, and eventually I figured out this really is a true thing. I actually said thank you to her to the show for doing something so amazing for people during such a difficult time. I thought that was really great you were doing this.

Brian: Great. Here comes the reveal. It's a listener to the show, named Joanne. Hi, Joanne. Are you there?

Joanne: Yes, I'm here. Of course, I'm a big listener fan. Thank you, Brian. Gratitude to you and the show. Jen, you had to know it was me. Come on in New York City girl.

Jennifer: Joanne, I told mom it might be Joanne.

Joanne: Anyway, Brian, I just want to say and I'm at former and sometimes New York City teacher I taught in East Harlem the Upper East Side. I've gradually moved my life West which hasn't been easy over the past 10 years to Montclair and now to Chester, New Jersey out in the farm country. I did it primarily for-

Brian: You said west, I thought you were going to say like Grand Junction, Colorado or something, west all the way to Montclair.

Joanne: [laughs] Chester's really West. It's farm country, but I did it for my son and schools and in a time of the pandemic where I see so many of my friends with special needs kids struggling in this city and in Montclair also which hasn't been back to school. Chester has been back since August. We're lucky we're a small town, but they also have great technology and infrastructure, dedicated staff.

This Jen, it's not just because she's back. She's an amazing teacher. She doesn't just engage special ed kids like my son who has autism and ADHD and a lot of learning challenges, but she gets to know every kid in this school, in a middle school so that they are part of this wonderful, beautiful, inclusive environment but the big part is she was supposed to move to Florida.

She built a house for her and her dad who is a little bit sick and she was going to move in August and she saw the struggles of all of us as parents and all of the kids like my son who had a tremendously difficult time being home. I was just trying to find anything for him and she committed to staying so that my son and the other kids in his class, and that she knew wouldn't be isolated, would be able to transition in this weird time, how hard it is for a typical kid to be dealing with this.

Not only has it been amazing, my son is so happy to go to school every day. She always has a smile under her mask and the general ed kids love her and she's even created, I was big into this whole outdoor education movement. She has them outside every day and she even created this group where the general ed kids all go outside as socially distanced with masks and they love it.

There's a way to do inclusion and to make everybody happy. I can't thank her enough for being who she is for staying during this time and just for being a wonderful teacher. Again, as a teacher, I can spot and smell a good teacher miles away and I spotted her a long time ago, although I miss New York tremendously, she is one of the major reasons. It is all worth it even through this pandemic and I and my whole family just want to say, we love her and appreciate her and thank her so much and all the teachers who were getting a bad rap, it is not this one. I'm going to tell you right now, this one goes above and beyond every day.

Brian: Jennifer, talk to Joanne.

Jennifer: Joanne, I have to say I can't thank you enough. You know how much I love you and I love-- So hard not to thank you guys because I'm someone Brian, who many people don't know my story of this school year, just because I do, I have a smile on my face and I love the kids. My first thought is always, what can I do for the students? Many people don't know, I did.

I built a house in Florida. My house is sitting there now. I'm paying for it every month and I was ready to move, bring my father out there, and just enjoy the rest of his life that he has to live and he deserves and I couldn't leave the kids. I wanted to make sure that they went back to school safely and were taken care of. My whole family means sacrifices for me to stay.

I just feel so grateful to have these amazing parents who are willing to go out of their way to realize when someone cares about them and their family and to say, thank you like this Joanne is really just, honestly, I told my mom, I said, "How much you want to bet it's Joanne because she was from New York?" But I'm like, "Who would go out of their way to say, thank you to me like this." This just means the world to me, Brian and Joanne I love you so much, you know that, you know that. Thank you.

Joanne: We love you.

Brian: Jennifer, it's an amazing story, because so many teachers who are wonderful teachers and really dedicated to their kids, if they're going to have a big life change, like planning to move to another state, they'll give a reasonable amount of notice and then they'll go. The fact that you've stayed to see your kids through this, your special ed students, every special ed teacher deserves special thanks every day, but to go above and beyond to this degree, to delay that move in the way you both described, wow, that's just so, so beautiful and so, so selfless. Do you want to pay it forward at all? Jennifer, do you want to say thank you to someone else out there to a person place or a thing as we put the question out?

Jennifer: Oh, yes, absolutely. Can I do that? Real quick can I say it?

Brian: Yes.

Jennifer: I know many people are going to say thank you to their families, I get that but I really do have to say thank you because Brian, on top of everything on top of the fact that sorry, I'm just so shaken up, I can't believe this, but on top of the fact that I held off my move and the house in Florida to be here for the students and all of this, but my mother also built a house in Florida and she also is waiting to move until I moved to Florida so that way she can be here for my father as well.

When I do move, we're all going to bring my father up to Florida. My entire family pretty much held off their move as well to their own house that they built to help out with this entire situation. I have to thank my entire family for being there for me and for my students all these years. My father used come into my classroom and do little magic tricks and things for my students. My entire family has been involved with my students in some way. I just want to thank them for always supporting me and supporting my students as well.

Brian: That's beautiful. Now, you got to tell me one more thing because Joanne said that you could see even through her child's mask when they're smiling. Now, I have a friend who claims that they can see from my mask, whether I'm smiling or whether I have a serious face. I look in the mirror and I cannot do it. I give the biggest frown, the biggest smile, the biggest serious glower and I cannot tell through my mask what I'm doing, looking in the mirror. Can you really tell with the kids?

Jennifer: Absolutely. I know my students inside and out. You can tell and you know what? You can see it with the mask. You can see the slant in their eyes. What their expression is, but it's the whole demeanor of the child. You can see and that's what I always say to teachers, always know whether our students are wearing masks or they're not wearing mask, if there's a pandemic or not a pandemic, bottom line, you need to know your students inside and out because even if they look like they're smiling, you don't know how they feel on the inside.

The first step to being a teacher is not teaching them the academics, it's about getting to know them, who they are as a person, and knowing that they're safe and protected with you. Yes, I absolutely can tell how my students are feeling 100%.

Brian: Now I know even more why Joanne thinks you're such a great teacher. Jennifer, I hope this was a nice Thanksgiving surprise. I hope you have a great day. Joanne, thank you so much for going to the effort of participating in this Thanksgiving surprise little game we're playing, and happy Thanksgiving to you.

Joanne: Thank you, Brian. Thank you for letting me share. Happy Thanksgiving, Jen.

Jennifer: Happy Thanksgiving, Joanne. Thank you so much. You made me feel like a million bucks today and Brian, thank you so, so much for doing this.

Joanne: I'm building a house in Florida. I'm moving too. [crosstalk]

Brian: It's the Brian Lehrer live on Thanksgiving. Elena in Missoula, Montana. You're on WNYC. Hi Elena. Happy Thanksgiving.

Elena: Hi, Brian. Happy Thanksgiving to you.

Brian: Now is that Mountain time zone?

Elena: Yes, it is. Some zeros behind.

Brian: It's not even nine o'clock out there. Thanks for getting up early and calling in. What do you want to do? You want to thank somebody, a person, place or thing? What kind of story do you want to tell?

Elena: This year I'm especially thankful for nature. I've found that the mountains and rivers and the trees and animals that I encounter every day have really helped to get me through this crazy time. I feel like, I am just so, so grateful for the quiet beauty there and I get a lot out of it. That's one thing that's brought us more meaning.

Brian: That's kind of one mine too. I was going to mention this later in the show, but since you brought it up, a person, place, or thing, I guess you'd call it a thing. The thing that I've been thinking about is the seasons because spending so much time at home this year, working at home, instead of going into the station and then going out much less on my time off than I would normally do, one of my simple pleasures has just been experiencing the seasons as they change in my own neighborhood, where I'm spending a lot more time, even just watching them out my apartment window as I spend more time at home. Gratitude for the seasons and for you, what nature do you have in Missoula?

Elena: We're in a Valley here so we're surrounded by mountains and there's actually a mountain just behind my house called Mount Jumbo named after Jumbo's mom the elephant.

Brian: Really.

Elena: Yes, we have a trailhead at the end of our block, and my dog and I climb that mountain almost every day. It's you said, I've also have been thinking about people whose work is quiet and repetitive and it's cheese-makers and the farmers out there who are in that same setting day in and day out and from how much now I feel like I'm thinking about them and experiencing this daily witnessing just the ebb and flow of the small, quiet drama of nature. It's really special. [crosstalk]

Brian: I'm still thinking about jumbo, the mountain being named after the elephant. I thought the Rocky mountains preceded Disney, but I guess I was wrong.

Elena: This is a mountain that's had a lot of modern attention by the area-- The trails on it have been taken care of in modern times but the cool thing is from a certain angle in Missoula, it actually looks like an elephant.

Brian: How about that? Now, I've only driven through Montana and it did actually feel like the cliché or the slogan, big sky country. I don't know why because I don't know why this wouldn't be true everywhere else, but it did feel like the sky was really around me and really low on me in a beautiful way. Do you experience that? And do people in Montana have any nicknames for the sky like you have for the mountain?

Elena: That's such a good question. I definitely experience it and I often think-- I try to figure out, "Why does the sky feels so much different?" I actually I'm born and raised in New York City. So I'm used to a very different sky and I cannot figure out why it feels so big and so close as you put it. I have not heard any nicknames for the sky, but this might be a practice that I start on my own now that you given me the idea.

Brian: Great, go and then call in on another occasion and tell us what you have nickname-- it's like they say in Alaska, they have 25 different words for snow. Maybe in Montana, you can come up with several words for different ways the sky feels on different days. Elena, you're really from out West. We had that caller before who said, "Oh, well I lived in New York City and then I moved West to New Jersey," so you really moved West and thank you very much.

Elena: Thank you, Brian and of course, I'm going to echo everyone's gratitude and say that I'm also extremely thankful for you.

Brian: Thank you very much. Happy Thanksgiving. That caller earlier said, "Well, then I moved west to Montclair." Now we have a caller from there, Luke in Montclair you're on WNYC. Hi, Luke, happy Thanksgiving.

Luke: Happy Thanksgiving, Brian and forgive me. It's ironic given that I'm a Brit celebrating Thanksgiving, but I think I'll be forgiven for it.

Elena: For you moving West, Montclair really is moving west.

Luke: Yes, London to Montclair was a bit of a move, but I've been here for 20 years and just to get to it, I'm thankful for a thing this year and I assure you I have no shares in this and do not work for the institution, but I am very thankful for Zoom, not only to be able to speak to my sister-in-law in Wyoming, or my in-laws in Florida, but most of all to be able to see my parents who are older and who I physically can't get to.

It's a blessing and a curse because they are older and one doesn't know how long it is until-- I'm actually not going to be able to go and see them. Although I can see them, I would have to quarantine for two weeks so to find four weeks anywhere with work, it's very difficult. It's been a real comfort just to be able to check in and see their faces. It's been very, very special. So, yes, bravo Zoom.

Brian: I could hear the heads nodding out there, whoever heard of Zoom until COVID and now it's become so much a part of our lives where we can see our colleagues. In our case, we have a Zoom meeting with my producer team every day after the show and for family reasons, obviously. Who knew. I'm sure people have a love-hate relationship with it too because ultimately you can't reach out and touch the person.

Luke: My mother acts like it's alien looking at her, she finds it very, very hard to deal with. Sometimes she has to close your eyes or divert the screen, but anyway, yes, it's amazing.

Brian: There's this moment for me, this more emotionally difficult moment than some others when I'm on Zoom with loved ones when it's over. Because if you're with somebody in person you're hugging them goodbye or walking out the door, it's fine, on Zoom you're with them, but you're not really with them, but you're with them in that Zoom way and then when it's over, it goes to that Zoom home screen and it's like, there's certain--

Luke: Yes, that's my nightmare, really, without being too down in the dumps is-- With ill parents. The other thing, Brian is the saddest thing is that I have friends here in Montclair and I have friends all over who have had to say goodbye to their loved ones via Zoom. It is a double-edged sword. It's a wonderful device, but it's also, as you say, when you hang up, it all becomes technology. It just suddenly, it's the realization that it's a pretty an emotional way to reach them.

Brian: On a lighter note, what's on your Thanksgiving plate

Luke: [unintelligible 00:46:31] been pretty traditional, traditional coming from me, for Americans it's traditional. It's Turkey and it's mashed potatoes and it's Mac and cheese and it's all those good things, but the one thing that we do in England and I can't even describe it, and it's particularly for Christmas is something called a cracker.

It's a Christmas cracker and in essence, it is a tubular piece of cobbled with-- Not an explosive device but something that makes a bang and you pull it with somebody and whoever wins the bigger half gets inside it a joke and a treat which can be anything from a key chain to whatever it may be. Then, the joke are particularly British and awful and depend heavily on puns because puns are the greatest things in the world, as we know, but yes--

Brian: Do you have one for us? Do you have a sample for us?

Luke: [unintelligible 00:47:30] at the end, I'll try, overwhelming, but yes, we will be doing what our-- Actually Christmas crackers at Thanksgiving and it brings a little bit of Britain to Montclair, although Montclair is full of British people. I don't know what's in the water, but they’re all here.

Brian: Happy Thanksgiving, happy Christmas crackers and thank you for calling in Luke.

Luke: Brian, thank you for everything. You are the beacon for me and my family every day and it really is an honor to speak to you so happy Thanksgiving.

Brian: Too kind. Thank you very much, Andrew, on the lower East side. Hi, Andrew. Happy Thanksgiving.

Andrew: Oh, hi, Brian. How are you?

Brian: I'm okay.

Andrew: Hello?

Brian: Hello, Can you hear me?

Andrew: I'm good, gratitude for being on the air today. Thank you.

Brian: Gratitude for taking the time. Do you have a person, place, or thing? What do you want to do?

Andrew: Person. A couple of groups of people and one person in particular and I've been running [unintelligible 00:48:30] through my head trying not to get overly emotional when I tell you this. About a year ago in late 2019, I was diagnosed with a serious illness that required hospitalization and surgery and some other good stuff. There's one particular person who I would not be sitting here talking to you about problems-- You've heard these events, if it wasn't [unintelligible 00:48:55] my wife Mia, who's currently at home making a traditional type of Thanksgiving dinner.

I just wanted to-- We spent last Thanksgiving in MSK up in New York Avenue. [crosstalk] It was a little bit dire and I'm very healthy now and it's because of my wife, Mia. I absolutely couldn't have gotten through any of this without her and then she was supported by a very, very close group of friends. Thank you for them if any of them are listening. Also, certain medical professionals at MSK who are remarkable the whole time through nearly, maybe eight or nine hospitalizations and extended their time in the hospital. I just wanted to extend my thanks. That's all. Thank you, Mia. I love you.

Brian: Oh, you think she's-- because you're not at home, right, but she's at home and do you think she's listening?

Andrew: You were on the radio when I left to walk the dogs. I kind of stayed out for a little while longer on hold, I didn't expect to get through, but she'll be listening. I hope she hears this. I really do.

Brian: That is awesome.

Andrew: [unintelligible 00:50:08]

Brian: What did you say her name was? Mia?

Andrew: Her name is Mia.

Brian: Mia. Andrew deserves a big hug when you get home for this little stunt here. Andrew, thank you so much.

Andrew: Thank you, Brian. Thanks for everything you do. You're wonderful. Take care.

Brian: Thank you very much. It's Brian Lehrer live on Thanksgiving, hanging out with you for another hour. We've got the news and then so much more. This is WNYC FM HD and AM New York WNJT-FM 88.1 Trenton, WNJP 88.5 Sussex, WNJY 89.3 Netcom, and WNJO 90.3 Tom's River. We are in New York and New Jersey Public Radio. We have more thank you songs coming up. We have more thank you surprises coming up.

We have two more sets of people who are going to-- One of them's going to surprise the other one with a Thanksgiving thank you and much more of your calls on how this year is different and what's on your plate and what you're going to do when the pandemic lifts and all those other things we're hanging out talking about so stay with us. I want to fire up some gratitude of my own for a minute before we go to our next guest and more of your calls and name check some of the people I'm grateful for and you should be too on this Thanksgiving Day. Some of you have been thanking us for having this show.

It's people who make this program possible every day who are not me. Our producers Mary Croke, Lisa Allison, Zoe Azulay, Amina Srna and Carl Boisrond, plus Zach Gottehrer-Cohen who is with us part of the day and edits our daily politics podcast. Sign up for our daily politics podcast. Plus our interns this fall doing remote learning by helping us make the show from their homes. Dan Girma and Erica Scalise and a heaping extra helping of cranberry sauce thank yous to the essential workers who are going into the station, so all of WNYC's programming can happen through the broadcast day even when I and a lot of other people are working from home.

Our audio engineers for the show. Usually, Juliana Fonda and sometimes Liora Noam Kravitz, or Matt Marando, who's there today on this Thanksgiving Day. Thank you, Matt, or Milton Ruiz. They all are so chill and on top of everything while the show changes around them minute by minute, as it does, from four different people's homes. Further behind the scenes, it seems like every time something goes wrong, technically, Alan Black is right there with a screwdriver a wrench and a very high functioning brain to repair it in no time.

If our internet stuff gets glitchy, and even if Amazon's internet gets glitchy, and it trickles down to us, Raymond Chan, same thing as Alan, but with a virtual screwdriver, but still the analogue high functioning brain and other people too on our selfless tech teams, so we don't have as much a direct contact with. Thank you, thank you, thank you all on behalf of all the listeners. Finally, we thank our fearless leader, the head of live radio, Megan Ryan for organizing our radio world and having great ideas for how to serve all of you every day. Gratitude to everyone who makes the Brian Lehrer show, the team sport that it is.

 

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