Joan Rivers talks about the everyday life of the ultimate diva—herself. In her new book Diary of a Mad Diva she writes about a family vacation in Mexico and about trips between New York and Los Angeles, where she mingles with the stars and delivers blistering critiques on current events, pop culture, and celebrities.

Joan was given a diary by her daughter for Christmas, and after complaining that she wasn't gifted a "certificate for Botox," she began writing in it and ultimately created her new book. The preface warns that anyone who takes its contents seriously is an "idiot."

In this exclusive interview, the 81 year old comedienne tackles topics for all the non-idiots: ranging from the "brilliant" Kardashian sisters, to why she doesn't wear the color yellow, to why she'll never apologize for her jokes.