This week in “Thanks, Internet” — Jeb! the musical, all the happy little trees, and Julian Edelman does it again to win the internet this week.
1. Edelman Presents
First, Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman gave us "Growing Pats," the ultimate #TBT look at his teammates as awkward young boys and men — and the best thing to happen to the NFL since Bad Lip Reading. (Seriously, come for adolescent Tom Brady and stay for Rob Gronkowski with a cat on his shoulder). Then, he gave us "Star Pats" (which is right up there with "The Force Awakens"). Now, he's teamed up with fellow wide receiver Danny Amendola on "PATS: Cleaning the Streets," a "Cops"-style parody starring the two as Skip and Dale, officers with one mission: "to protect and serve burgers." Looks like these two have been enjoying the off season in a Boston that looks suspiciously like southern California.
2. An American Disappointment
A team of college students has rewritten the hip-hop musical sensation "Hamilton" with American disappointment Jeb Bush in the title role. And when I say rewritten, I mean every last word. You can read all 70 pages of this new script for yourself, and sing along if you are so inclined. (Don't even try to pretend you don't know the "Hamilton" soundtrack inside and out.) Centered around Jeb's failed campaign for president, it casts Donald Trump as Aaron Burr and George W. Bush as George Washington. And the best part is, if this thing ever gets staged, you'll probably be able to get tickets without taking out a second mortgage. (Of course, the worst part is you'll have to sit through a musical about Jeb Bush).
3. Obnoxious Startup Generator
The b.s. mottos, the nonsensical taglines, the overused Wordpress templates... this obnoxious startup generator has them all.
(Thanks, James!)
4. All the Happy Little Trees
Brave soul Nicole Bonneau is painting her way through every "The Joy of Painting" episode, one Bob Ross classic at a time — all the happy little trees and all the fluffy white clouds in all 403 paintings.
5. Four Legs, Two Steps
Henceforth, this will be my new Friday dance.