This week in “Thanks, Internet” — the difficulty of getting drinks, the longest mixtape in the world, making enemies with glitter, the best Bowie GIF you'll ever see, and vintage McConaughey.
1. Let's Plan On (Never) Getting Drinks
The year is young, the potential is intoxicating. Still, it's really hard to meet up and get drinks. Kelly Stout mocked an entire generation's scheduling frustrations in the New Yorker this week. "Let's Get Drinks" is a text conversation between two excuse-making friends who secretly want nothing more than to have no plans at all:
- So excited about our lunch date! 12:30?
- This is basically just a joke at this point, but I have this dumb meeting about records retention or something that got pushed back to one. You don’t have to tell me that I’m mercury poisoning hooking up with the Crusades in the bathroom at trans fat’s wedding to voter suppression, because I know. Ugh . . . sorry.
2. Monster Mixtape
Caribou makes beautiful songs, but this week he gifted us with 1,000 jams he had nothing to do with. As a thank-you to his fans, the Canadian electronic musician shared a YouTube playlist entitled "The Longest Mixtape"—a collection of jams that have inspired him over the years, from Kanye to Nina Simone to "Les Fleurs" by Minnie Riperton, which kicks off the marathon. Caribou recommends you shuffle.
3. Ship Your Enemies Glitter
A few Australians recently had a fun idea for a small business: let's charge people roughly ten bucks to ship envelopes packed with glitter to their enemies. Almost the second ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com was launched, it was featured on Product Hunt and became an overnight sensation. In fact, the site became so popular that one of its creators took to the tubes to beg the world to stop using it:
Hi guys, I'm the founder of this website. Please stop buying this horrible glitter product — I'm sick of dealing with it. Sincerely, Mat
4. Time May Change Me
English illustrator Helen Green is particularly skilled at capturing the likeness of pop stars. She does Gaga, Lorde and, to celebrate his recent birthday, made the greatest David Bowie GIF we'll ever know. The year is young, but the animated GIF-loving internet will have to try pretty hard to top this one.
5. McConaughey Is A Flat Circle
McConaughey didn’t really get to be McConaughey at the Golden Globes due to time constraints, but the Criterion Collection reminded us of the Wooderson we know and love this week when they released a decent-quality version of his audition tape from Dazed and Confused. In it, the first-time actor looks like he was born to play the unforgettable character in Richard Linklater’s 90s classic. Maybe there’s enough tape to film a sequel to Boyhood? McConahood?