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Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC. Now, we'll wrap up today's show with a call-in about your third spaces. What? What's a third space? Some of you know that term. It comes from urban sociologist Ray Oldenburg's book called The Great Good Place. He describes it as public places on neutral ground where people can gather and interact. It's not a new concept, but there are new wrinkles for this post-pandemic era.
Listeners, what do you do when your workday is over? Where do you go when you're not at the office and you're not at home? Where is your third space? 212-433-WNYC, 212-433-9692. If your home is your first space, and your office is your second space, where is that third space where you find community and socialize? Are you an active member of your church, mosque, or synagogue? Maybe you frequent a particular bar or coffee shop. We could cite the old TV show Cheers, which was all those people's third space. Is there a community center where you regularly meet new people, as well as catch up with other regulars?
212-433-WNYC on where is your third space in 2024. I hope we get callers. We'll try to look for callers of different ages, different generations, different decades of life because I think there is a lot of age-determinant third space differences these days. 212-433-WNYC. If you're in your 20s, do you have a third space? If you're in your 50s, do you have a third space? If you're in your 80s, do you have a third space? We ask this today because one of the greatest problems American society is facing, according to so many people like our surgeon general, is an epidemic of loneliness. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released a general advisory last year. He was on the show talking about it, raising the alarm on the impact of loneliness and isolation on our health. According to him, the toll of disconnection on our mental and physical health is similar to that of smoking daily.
While this may be the case, the state of our city and more broadly, the conditions of, we might say, neoliberal capitalism, have made accessing third spaces less and less possible. Currently, libraries are no longer open on Sundays. I know that's a weekend thing. It's not after work in the same sense, but it is because we mean after work broadly. That knocks out the possibility for parents to gather in the kids' section or older adults to meet up and be in the company of others at least on that one day a week.
There's also news in Gothamist, our local news website, of a struggle occurring at the Lower East Side feminist bookstore Bluestockings. Have you heard of this? A known third space, offering a place of gathering for those looking to get out of the cold, read a book, or even pickup essentials like socks, underwear and toiletries. S
ometimes the bookstore is part of the state's opioid overdose prevention program, and offers Narcan which neighbors claim has increased the population of unhoused people who openly use drugs and harass pedestrian. In a way, this conflict is between those who want to protect their private first spaces versus those who seek to maintain the community of that particular kind of third space. If your particular third space happens to be Bluestockings, you can call up too. 212-433-9692.
The other thing is social media. So many people are on their smartphones that that becomes the third space, Internet communities. That, in some ways, serves some of the same purpose, but in a lot of ways doesn't. Call up about your third spaces 2024 edition. Maybe other people will get some tips from where you gather with people that are not at home and not at work. 212-433-WNYC, 212-433-9692. Call or text and we'll take your third space calls right after this.
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Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC. Now, to your calls with your third spaces, the place you go and find community that is not your home and not your workplace. 212-433-WNYC. Text us as well. Gabriella in Rockaway, New Jersey, you're on WNYC. Hi, Gabriella.
Gabriella: Hi.
Brian Lehrer: What's your third space?
Gabriella: Mine is Roosters Coffeehouse. It's a Colombian coffee shop in Ledgewood, New Jersey. I'm mixed. I'm Colombian and Norwegian, and I found that it's just such a beautiful space with such hospitality. I have two little kids, so whenever I get some alone time on the weekends, I'm always there doing a little bit of work, spending some time in the community there, and the owners and staff are just absolutely wonderful.
Brian Lehrer: How do you find community there? Is it just that people you know are likely to be there, and you can sit in some group not just at your own little table, and so you can hang out? How does it actually create community?
Gabriella: A, being Colombian myself, there is a lot of hospitality that comes with being from Colombia and finding people that might be from your hometown where my dad grew up. It's almost a common thread there. Also, there's a lot of moms groups like Be Connected and The Next Generation Network that host different kinds of events for women entrepreneurs or women business owners. They allow so many other groups to come into their space that it almost is layers of community all in one location.
Brian Lehrer: Gabriella, thank you so much for starting us off. Appreciate it. Here's an interesting one. Alex in Brooklyn writes, "My third space was the same hole in the wall dive bar all through my 20s," he's saying he's 32, "but since the pandemic I've transitioned to Outbox, the queer boxing gym in Brooklyn. Never had a real interest in boxing before, but the community is so nice, affirming to be around, and frankly, I'm spending the same amount of money, but I'm getting a workout instead of a hangover." There's an interesting one. Transitioning from a bar to a boxing gym. How about Maria in the Flatiron District? You're on WNYC. Hi, Maria.
Maria: Hi. Good morning. My third space is actually a wonderful Tex-Mex restaurant in Murray Hill. The third space really started during the pandemic shutdown. They had outdoor space. We sat amongst snow drifts. They had heaters. I met so many people there that now there's a large small community of us. We share weddings, baby showers, family. We text . We check in with each other. [whistle] That's my parrot, sorry. We have become like a mini family and we just care for each other. We're all completely different walks of life, had never met before, but now that's home away from home. It's like having a family reunion every week, every Saturday.
Brian Lehrer: Nice. Now, we've had a lot of dogs make their radio debut on the show, but I'm not sure a parrot before. What's your parrot's name?
Maria: It's Ruby. She's my 33-year-old African Gray. [whistle] She's trying to sing to you. She likes the phone.
Brian Lehrer: I heard the whistle.
Maria: She used to talk, but my other parrot died and she stopped talking then.
Brian Lehrer: Oh, wow.
Maria: Oh, there you get a whistle too. The neighborhood, everybody is on a first-name basis. I can't walk one block in my neighborhood without seeing someone I know. It's like being on a college campus. It's quite comforting in this lonely world.
Brian Lehrer: That is so great. Thanks, Maria. We have a text saying, "My third space is just walking the streets of New York City with my sweetie." That refers to talking to people they run into. Kind of along those lines. Listener writes, "I have three kids and my third space is on the sidelines of their games." Now, Gabriel in Georgia is calling up with a third space that he has here in the city. Right, Gabriel? Hi, you're on WNYC.
Gabriel: Hey, Brian. Good morning. Thanks for taking my call.
Brian Lehrer: You bet.
Gabriel: One of my favorite third places on the planet is in Central Park in a place called Wagner Cove, which is a little hut that used to be a landing spot for stepping onto the row boats that would go around the lake. It's quiet and there's a little pass, so most people don't know where it is, but sometimes you might--
Brian Lehrer: Do you go there to be alone for a quiet space or do you go there because you find community there?
Gabriel: I go there to be alone or to take a close friend because it's an intimate moment, but oftentimes you'll meet people who just happen upon it. Oftentimes, it's tourists who, whether they know it or not, they found the coolest spot in the whole city.
Brian Lehrer: Gabriel, thank you very much. Amanda in Montclair, you're on WNYC. Hi, Amanda.
Amanda: Hi. How are you? Thank you so much for taking my call. My third space, it's called Creative Plus. I'm an actress, and after the pandemic, I really just miss connection with people and multifaceted talented people, also the owner of Creative Plus. It's a space where people who have a lot going on, whether business, or arts-related, can come together and connect. I like to think of it like a Harlem Renaissance type of vibe on a third floor of a really cool building. We have social events, and then we have business events to keep us thriving, and then we come together with our arts as well. I love it and I love our members, and we are very new.
Brian Lehrer: This is like, I couldn't find the third space that I wanted, so I made my own.
Amanda: Basically, and I knew I wasn't the only one who was looking for this. It's called creativeplus.com.
Brian Lehrer: In Montclair.
Amanda: Yes, in Montclair, New Jersey.
Brian Lehrer: Thank you very much. Another listener writes, "My husband and I are both 71 and retired, and his third space would be his fly-tying and fly-fishing community. Mine is my quilting community, and we both enjoy woodworking and hiking together." There are two other kinds of communities. A lot of people are writing or calling to say pickleball. We'll take one of those now. Elaine, in Manhattan, you're on WNYC. Hi, Elaine.
Elaine: Hi, Brian. I'm retired, so it's my second space. All of the rec centers in New York City devote some of their gym time to pickleball, and a tremendous number of retired people go there to play. Because it's so popular and we're waiting on the sidelines to play, we get to know one another from all walks of life. I really highly recommend it as a way of meeting people and getting some exercise.
Brian Lehrer: You can go there and meet people there. You don't have to go with a known partner.
Elaine: No. You just put your racket down and you paddle down, and the next four players play.
Brian Lehrer: There you go.
Elaine: Depend on how many people are there. You play to a certain number of points.
Brian Lehrer: Thank you very much. Someone texts, "My third space is the Salt Marsh Nature Trail in Marine Park, Brooklyn. It was my daily respite during COVID." Another one from Brooklyn writes the Park Slope Food Coop, and that's all they wrote about it. A lot of people know the Park Slope Food Coop, and that they find community there. Christina, on Staten Island, you're on WNYC. Hi, Christina.
Christina: Hi, Brian. An old school church, believe it or not. It's not like I'm super religious, but it's called Ascension. Probably the tiniest church on Staten Island, but we do so many different outreach programs. I've met some amazing people and we all have become socially involved too, which is great. We do Lakeside, which is for the mentally challenged. We do foster teens, we do the asylum seekers. We're the group that's been giving even though we get negativity thrown at us. It's been great. It's just been great. I know it's an old-school idea, but we do have a young priest, and everybody loves him, and we are bringing in more new people. I'm really happy about that. That's my space.
Brian Lehrer: Thank you very much. I'll sneak in one more from a listener in a text that shouts out a bookstore third space, "Pinnacle Books in Beacon, saved my sanity during COVID. Thanks to Laura and Mark."
Brian Lehrer: We'll leave it there. Thanks to all of you for calling in with your third spaces, which hopefully provided some third-space ideas for people who need them. That's The Brian Lehrer Show for today. Produced by Mary Croke, Lisa Allison, Amina Srna, Carl Boisrond, and Esperanza Rosenbaum. Zach Gottehrer-Cohen produces our Daily Politics podcast. Megan Ryan is the head of Live Radio. Juliana Fonda at the Audio controls. I'm Brian Lehrer. Stay tuned for Alison.
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