Justin

Damien Hirst was at a lost; nothing was popping into his head.
He was low on swindle and the thought of losing the mantle of world’s biggest con artist troubled him dearly.
A big show at the Tate Modern was looming and Hedge Fund managers were inquiring where to waste some fleeced dough. He did not want to disappoint and while his drinking days were behind him, he felt a trip to the Groucho Club W1 would serve some inspiration.
###Ordering a lemonade at the bar and plucking out cashews from the mixed nuts he looked around for any familiar faces. In the corner he spotted Robert Pattinson and Taylor Swift giggling behind tall gin & tonics, in the opposite corner Lilly Allen and Prince Harry were playing strip poker. “Christ I’m old and irrelevant, where’s Bono when you need him?”
###Finding a booth to sit down he thought for a moment then pulled out a freshly sealed Moleskine sketch book.
“Who are you trying to kid? “
Hirst looked up and saw a bleary unkempt woman with a lob sided mouth holding a glass of wine.
“Tracy you old hag what gives?”
It was Tracy Emin part time artist, full time drinker.
“Started to take up drawing have we?”
“What’s that on your arm? “
“Ah… my new fabulous purchase from Camden Town”
“What is it?”
“A thermos”
Tracey put the red and white thermos on the table and sat down.
“Wicked eh?”
“Not bad dear, I like the Marlboro logo” Said Hirst leaning in to a get a better look.
“It’s my new handbag darling; my man Winston hooked me up ‘Nice Price Winston’ always comes through”
“I wonder what it would be like suspended in formaldehyde.”
“Bleeding Hell Damien you stuck for ideas again?”
“I got the Tate Modern pending “
“Oh great I get a funky handbag and you want too drown it in slime, you know this very rare Damien, years ago if you bought a certain amount of ciggies you won a gift, in this case a thermos”
“What about we do a joint piece, we could call it ‘The Physical Impossibility of two aging Con Artists running out of luck” chuckled Tracy.
… I tell you what; you give me the thermos and whatever price I sell it for I’ll split 50 / 50”
“What about Winston?”
“We’ll throw him a bone”
“Okay money bags” resigned Tracy pulling on a Marlboro.
###Hirst made a call.
###At Sotheby’s today Damien Hirst pulled off another coup with another large sale for his latest work “How to Con the Art World on a Regular basis”
###Camden Market was bristling with people; a queue had formed outside Winston’s stall, Tracy was standing at the front when she saw Damien approaching.
“Oi Damien!! Over here”
Damien Hirst stood gazing at the racks of thermoses; there must have been thirty of them swaying in the wind.
“I think you owe Winston a skeleton” smiled Tracy.