Todd

Marlboro thermos story for Studio 360###

It was many years ago and in a town not far from here. My older sister used to tend bar at the local dive during the day. Why I don’t know. It was a dank oppressive place with beaten up floors dilapidated tables and chairs. The center cork from the dart board had been eaten away by repeated piercing and the coin operated pool table with its chipped balls and bent cues felt the abuse nightly from the would be sharks sitting on its edges and spilling both brew and ash on its once green now browning felt. The jukebox which hadn’t been played in years was stuck on the last song it had been playing, “Runaway” by Bon Jovi the night two foul breathed oafs squared off, traded blows and landed on top of it.###
Overall it was a depressing place to hangout. The sun could be shining. The birds could be chirping but it didn’t matter for as soon as the place opened at 10 in the morning the grizzled old men sprouted from the bar stools like mushrooms and began to drown their dried up sorry lives with beer. Their glory days of youthful exploits and memories of love lost were called to memory by the VCR movies that my sister picked up from the rental on the way into work. The day for these moldering mushroom men consisted of drinking beer, watching movies, wagering on KENO and scratch tickets and smoking cigarettes. They smoked a lot of cigarettes. I don’t know why my sister worked there. It couldn’t have been the company? Maybe it was the perks? Along with her tips, I didn’t know mushrooms had pockets, the men would give her the coupons off their cig cartons. Now keep in mind these were the good ole days for the tobacco companies when a cartoon character could entice a would be otherwise healthy child to drop his vegetables and pick up a cigarette instead. Thanks Joe. ###
Along with Joe and his cool desert oasis complete with scantily clad models holding long cool drinks The Marlboro man offered a more American Midwest dream in the form of Marlboro“bucks” which could be traded in for neat outdoor active gear such as 50 coupons for a Tshirt, 100 for a backpack, and this very thermos priced at 75 which as soon as my sister had enough bucks for she ordered. My sister was not one to ever use a thermos nor was she the outdoor rugged adventurous type that these products implied they were for. She had good intentions but instead of hiking off to the mountains she used this thermos to hold the coupons that the mushroom men piled on her. For many months she would come home and jam the tickets in this thermos for safe keeping. Sometimes she would count them. With 10,000 you could get a mountain bike. With 500,000 you could earn a little pickup truck but it was the grandest prize of all that she was saving up for and dreaming about. The largest prize offered was a dude ranch out west complete with the likeness of the Marlboro man who would saddle up and ride off into the sunset each and every night just for you. This amazing dream prize was to be had for the staggering amount of one million coupons! Don’t laugh for it be true. Remember around the same time as this coupon fad a rather large soda company offered a real Harrier jump jet as their top prize in a TV ad and a kid managed to save up enough for it much to the bewilderment, and subsequent firing of the ad men who came up with the crazy idea. I wonder if the kid ever got his jet? ###
What seemed like years and a ton of cigarettes burned up in smoke my sister was getting closer to owning her own ranch but then The United States Congress rode in like Teddy Roosevelt up San Juan hill with guns blazing. They shot the Camel and shackled
the Marlboro Man They put an end to the programs and cartoon enticements in the name of saving kids lives and they put an end to my sisters dream. ###
So hold this thermos dear my reader for what used to hold hopes and dreams may now hold your coffee or cold beverage.###
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