Taylor

16

From Sunup to Falldown
The sun rose and everything fell. It seemed like it was the theme of my day: falling. As the moon fell away, the sun shined through my white curtains. The light burned through my eyelids at far too early of a hour. I slapped at my pesky alarm clock, until I realized that the sun is what awakened my morning alter ego. If awoken too early, I’m like a cross between a grumpy bear and an angry cat. The only way to rid of my Ursidae side was to get the delicious gold that was being brewed downstairs, which seemed like a thousand miles from my fluffy warm bed. After a self pep talk which consisted of reminders of buttery waffles and warm coffee, I went to rise up and gracefully start my day. One small step for me and — my blanket twisted fiercely around my foot. I face planted into my carpet and luckily received my makeup for the day: rug burn. The blanket then flew over my head and covered me. It was like my bed didn’t want me to leave and it was doing whatever it could to make me stay. I wrestled and rolled until the blanket let go of me. When I was finally successful, I opened my door to the hallway. My eyelids were still trying to break away from the cement that kept them closed. I rubbed my eye profusely because they still didn’t seem to want to open. Now I, being the skilled multitasker I am, kept walking blind through my hallway towards the scent of coffee. I was walking until my foot lost feel of the carpet. I cracked open my eyes only to witness the disaster that was before me. My foot kept going while my body fell backward and down the stairs. THUMP…WHACK…BAM into the wall at the bottom of the stairs.
Now my eyes were wide open. I laid there in shock as my sympathetic cat walked over my body. I’m not a toddler anymore, yet I just tumbled down the stairs. Am I toddler? Do I cry when I’m sleepy or hungry? Sometimes. Do I trip randomly and fall hard? Yes. Do I ever get dis— I wonder if the coffee is ready? With this thought in mind, I once again gathered myself and stood up. I took a careful step forward and looked down. Of course, my homicidal cat was ready to swerve in front of my feet and trip me. “Not today!” I said as I picked him up and walked toward the kitchen. I filled his food bowl to the top because I knew a half-filled food bowl was just not edible in the eyes of a cat. After the task was finished, I drifted towards the flower that held the sweet morning nectar—the coffee maker. I poured and prepared the ideal cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. That’s when it appeared outside my glass patio door.
A human figure darkened by the backdrop of bright morning sun. It was my all-too-cheery-in-the-morning neighbor, Alex. I disappeared before he saw me and ran to the garage. Didn’t I have to go food shopping today? I jumped into my car while the garage door slowly crept open and I was ready to make my speedy getaway. I backed up fast and then braked fast, because one of the many giant oak trees from my yard laid perpendicular across my driveway. “That’s what I came to tell you about. There was a crazy storm last night and your tree fell down! At least it wasn’t my beautiful tree. Did you know my tree is the biggest and tallest one in the neighborhood? Isn’t that just crazy? I mean the power these storms have. It reminds me of the storm I saw while I was in the Bahamas last August. That was just unbelievable. I was talking to my grandma over the phone. I just got the newest iPhone on the market, so the call came in crystal clear. She had just finished mowing her lawn with the mower I bought and then the clouds came and…” This is what he does. He spills his life story and parades his wealth every time he sees a human face. It doesn’t matter who it is, he will find you. When he finds you, he will talk your ear off. He doesn’t even pause to breathe. “…and then my dog was outside trying to go to the bathroom as quickly as he could because he just hates to get his paws —“ “Hey Alex, my indoor plant sprinkler system broke today, so I’m in a hurry.” I don’t even own a house plant. “Oh…well I bet it’s because of the storm last night. Just look at the tree it took down. I bet you—“ I slowly moved my car into the garage. “Okay bye, Alex.” He was still talking nonstop as my garage door shut.
After that disaster of an escape, I grabbed my cold coffee and retired to the living room to watch some TV. I was enjoying one of my favorite shows and the company of my hairy cat. As Prison Mike went on a rant about Dementors, my doorbell rang. “Neighbors!” my antisocial cat and I hissed. Trying not to be seen I peeked around the wall towards the front door. No. There was Alex standing at the door with a group of neighbors behind him. These were the type of people I’d rather not communicate with on a daily basis. You know these people, and maybe you’re one of them. The type of people who try to peek inside your house, or they eye up your new car wondering if they can do better. They watch each other’s kids go by wondering how they can spoil their kid more than their neighbor’s. I realized they knew I was here and they wouldn't leave until they heard enough of their own voices. I slowly walked toward the door and opened it. “Hi there again! Well the neighborhood committee observed that there’s a fallen tree in your driveway. According to the rules of the neighborhood, you are responsible for picking it up within five hours of it falling. Otherwise we will have to charge you money.” I stood there astonished, “Why should I have to pay you money for something as simple as a fallen tree in my yard?” “Because fallen trees and dead plants can tarnish the reputation of this neighborhood. We are known for our clean and perfect lawns.” The things these people worry about in life. “Okay,” I said with fake enthusiasm and my biggest fake smile, “I will get that cleaned up right away!” They apparently heard what they needed to hear and left me alone. I had developed a plan as they walked away.
I painstakingly maneuvered my car around the tree and set off for town. I found the items I needed to get, I called up my best friend, and then I explained to her what we were going to do. I arrived home and she parked near my driveway. I handed her headphones and a leaf blower and I took the chainsaw. “Do you know how to work one of these?” I asked. “I think you just pull the cord or something.” My chainsaw roared to life and it was perfect. It was perfect because it was louder than I had predicted. I proceeded to slowly cut the tree into thin slices, while Sophie waved around the leaf blower. Then I looked up and saw my plan was working. Alex was standing at his window looking very agitated. A half an hour went by and I was still cutting the tree and Sophie was still waving the leaf blower around, when Alex came out of his house. He came towards me and said something but I pointed at my headphones and said, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I’M TOO BUSY CLEANING UP THIS TREE!” He then came closer, so I turned around with the chainsaw in hand. He flew back to his house as if he saw a ghost.
Sophie helped me clean up the tree and I rewarded her with a call to the pizza delivery man (we have a weird obsession with pizza). We were anxiously waiting at my kitchen table, when I noticed my bird crazy cat walk into the room and delightfully dropped a very colorful bird at our feet. He looked up with pride as this was his most colorful trophy he had ever caught. “I didn’t know we had those kind of birds flying around here,” Sophie said. “We don’t. I think this is a parakeet.” That’s when we looked at each other in horror. It was Alex’s prized bird that he claimed he bought from the best breeders and he had paid A LOT of money for it. We knew this because he frequently brought up how much money he spent on it. The doorbell rang and I ran to the door to get the delicious pizza. I paid and received my pizza, and I was about to close the door when a foot popped through to keep it from closing. I opened it and saw a very angry Alex. He asked me if I had seen his bird. I was about to reply but then my good-timing cat brought his prize over to show to Alex. Alex’s eyes were bugging out of his head. He looked from my cat to me and said, “I’m going to have your cat euthanized.” He swiped the pizza out of my hand, opened it, and let it fall and splatter onto my sidewalk. I shut the door and ran crying over to Sophie. “He ruined the pizza! The pizza!” I cried. “He also said he would put your cat down.” “That is NOT going to happen.” I took the parakeet and threw it out the window towards his house.
After Sophie left, I cleaned up the house. I saw Alex walking over with papers in his hand and I was going to the door when the trembling started. All my dishes started to jump in their cabinets and the drop light above the table began to swing. I crouched to the floor and witnessed Alex fall over onto the lawn. After what felt like forever, it stopped. I had lost a few dishes and had a traumatized cat running around, but otherwise the earthquake didn't do much. I saw Alex get up again and I walked over to him. With a bewildered face he said,”See these papers, they explain how and why I should sue you for—-“ an aftershock shook the earth once more. After they subsided, he began talking again, “The, uh, the papers explain how I am going to sue you and—“ But I wasn't listening, I was observing how a tree seemed to be stretching further and further to one side. “Alex,” “Your cat did kill my—“ “Alex…” “I guess I could just sue you for money-“ “SHUT UP AND LOOK BEHIND YOU!” He turned around in time to witness one of the largest trees in the neighborhood fall and crash violently through the roof of his house. The roof of his garage that housed his Porsche collapsed. His windows shattered and roof tiles flew everywhere. After all the motion stopped, I watched him stand there with his mouth gaping. Then he strung out a line of swear words as he ran over to the side door to his garage. I couldn't even imagine what his car looked like after that long fall. He stood at the door for a minute, as if he was too scared to enter. I said, “You better hurry and get that tree picked up! It could tarnish the neighborhood’s reputation!” Alex stared at the door handle and slowly turned the knob.