Tyler
17
The sun rose and everything fell.
Even the ducking zoo lion had to get out of the way as pots and pans, knots and fans, even the cots and hands, fell from the various shelves of the animal storage facility.
On this bright Tuesday morning, earthquakes ravaged the San Andreas Zoo, sending wave after wave of seismic forces into the homes of unsuspecting animals and citizens. The tremors were recorded as the worst in Californian history. Worse than the Loma Prieta, worse than the San Francisco quake of 1906, and worse than the two earthquakes combined. After four minutes of nonstop shaking, Alex the Zookeeper, fabulous and world-renowned, was violently awoken by the stench of hippopotamus in his room.
While he forced his eyes open, he could vaguely discern that something was wrong. Maybe it was the fact that his alarm clock didn't go off. Or that he forgot to close his windows before sleeping last night, now feeling a breeze trickling into his room. Or perhaps, it was the very fact that the room was shaking like a pinball machine in a hurricane. Glancing over, he noticed his shattered alarm clock on the ground, broken into an assortment of parts and screws beside his chair. The pieces clattered against the wooden floor, dissonant with the deep rumbling of the earth.
Alex groaned and wearily looked around. He was, not in his comfortable bed down the hall, but at his work desk, sitting next to a hippopotamus. After another all-nighter filling out paperwork in the office, it seemed that Alex's day was starting off rather shakily. And he wasn't the only one. The hippopotamus beside him yelped and fell over, spilling papers and knocking over an innocent bookshelf.
The earth continued to tremble as Alex struggled out of his chair to dress himself. He lost his balance a few times, but didn't mind. Sleep-deprived and hungry, Alex considered the rumbling earth beneath his feet to be a minor annoyance. Earthquakes were more common than zoo exhibits in California, and Alex certainly had his fair share of both. Yet outside of the zoo compound the cries of animals prompted Alex to put his pants on a little faster than usual.
As he hobbled down the hall, granola bar in hand, the hippopotamus stumbled along with him, tracking muddy footprints all over his newly refurbished office, knocking over his antique European-imported desk, and breaking the hinges off of his varnished spruce door. Alex ignored the destruction of his family's heirlooms and stumbled over to a window.
Outside of the window, Alex could see at least a hundred of the zoo's animals wandering around. "How did an earthquake somehow manage to break all the locks in the zoo and lead all the animals outside?" Alex complained indignantly. He accepted the possibility that perhaps the locks on the enclosure doors were just really old.
Downstairs of the zoo's main office, the zookeeper and his hippopotamus friend exited the front door of the makeshift home. Alex shakily strolled through the park to access the damages. As suspected, every single one of the seven hundred and fifty-two point five exotic species had wandered out of their enclosures. That is, except the polar bears, who were jetlagged and remained hibernating in the middle of July. The rest of the animals, however, were prancing around the park like four year olds in an art gallery. Alex saw a gang of monkeys hanging off of the roofs, a pair of parakeets eating the leftover popcorn, and a herd of emus waltzing around the Animal Carousel.
Alex was shocked at the chaos. Not only were the animals posing a recreational hazard, they were even destroying some of the zoo's finest souvenirs, from the mana-t-shirts and the jackal lanterns to the moose mousse and the kang-kazoos.
Alex, though not exactly devastated by the broken items, was disappointed by the lost potential income. The souvenirs provided much of the zoo's funding and would probably delay shipments of new animals. The San Andreas Zoo was known for its exotic animals, imported and shipped from around the globe. These shipments gave the San Andreas Zoo its reputation as the finest zoo in the world. Though some argued that a zoo should not be defined by the number of exotic animals that were transported in, as Alex's dad always said, "the ships don't lie". The San Andreas Zoo's own shipments certainly matched those of any other international zoo, thanks to much of Alex's family legacy.
With a final thundering rumble, the earthquake finally stopped, but the squawks and yowls of the animals continued persistently in Alex's earlobes. Alex walked over to the animal in most need of attention, the rare and exquisite fugu fish, prized as one of the rarest fish dishes in the world next to shark fin soup and caviar.
He sighed. He was going to have to clean this mess up alone. The rest of his family celebrated all of the fame of the Zookeeper legacy, but put in none of the hard work. Alex was the only Zookeeper left that actually cared for the animals.
Alex picked up the gasping fish and threw it back into its tank. One down, seven hundred and fifty-one point five more to go.
***
A flash of orange disappears into the trees. The bushes rustle, the sound of paws patter on the ground, and the annoying zoo songs blare from the loudspeakers. Beads of sweat accumulate on young Alex's forehead, and his polo shirt is suddenly soaked from the feeling of overwhelming terror. An animal gone rogue? After such a devastating earthquake, there's no telling what the mental state of the once-peaceful animals is like now. Alex moves slowly and deliberately, but soon senses a discomforting feeling. First puzzled by the feeling, but then he is cognizant of a strong urge. A sudden realization - Alex hasn't used the restroom in the last twelve hours. But a sudden run to the restroom now could spell death for zoo protégé Alex. The animal he merely glimpsed was the ferocious Siberian tiger, imported straight from Chicago, Illinois. The Siberian wild tiger is known for its ability to leap up to thirty yards and scale four-story buildings. It is truly one of the greatest specimens of the animal kingdom. Alex begins to panic, looking around helplessly. Not only are there several dangerous animals on the loose, but now Alex himself has become a danger to his own survival - the weakness of an uncontrollable bladder. The bushes rustle again, the flash of orange blurs Alex's vision, and he involuntarily steps back...
***
The tiger lunged for a nearby rabbit and swallowed it whole. Alex saw the brutal murder and facepalmed before patting the tiger affectionately on the head. The orange ball of fur continued to roll around the shady grass and purr loudly as it was hurriedly led back into its enclosure. Moments like these were the reason Alex remained dedicated to his job. But at this point Alex was also jumping with anxiety. Nature's call refused to be ignored, and Alex took off running.
Precious seconds inched by as Alex's mad dash across the zoo led to the nearest bathroom, beside the monkey-spider and the landshark exhibits. Thrusting the metal gate open, he leaped inside the nearest stall in panic desperation.
The bathroom, as expected, reminded Alex of the zoo exhibits: an absolute lack of janitorial work and little to no consideration from its inhabitants. The bathroom itself was ironically most shaped like the traditional zoo exhibit, a square box amidst the rest of the open enclosures and customer service booths. The box was inserted neatly in the outdoors section of the zoo, and had two metal gates acting as doors to prevent after-hours graffiti artists from "expressing" themselves on the walls of the stalls.
Alex had just finished relieving himself when he heard a click from the entryway. Frowning, he walked over. The gate that he had just entered had closed in on itself. Alex shook the door and wondered why it was locked. Come to think of it, the door shouldn't have been unlocked to begin with. Alex paused to think of a logical explanation. Perhaps the janitors forgot to close the door after they locked it last night, and in Alex's rush to enter he probably knocked it closed.
Alex reached for his keys and remembered: he forgot to grab them from his room this morning.
How unfortunate.
On the day of the largest natural disaster in Californian history, Alex was in the worst position imaginable - stuck in the zoo bathroom while all of the animals wreaked havoc on private property. Alex could already see an elephant trunk peeking out of one of the zoo's buildings. There were probably unimaginable quantities of mud and animal droppings throughout the zoo's five-mile radius. Even worse was the fact that the zoo was closed on Wednesdays, which meant that Alex would need to wait for the new zookeeper shift. On Thursday.
***
Wait, was that a person?
A little girl, probably no more than eight years old, walked absentmindedly through the chaos of the San Andreas zoo.
"Hey!" Alex gestured wildly and got her attention. The large metal gate that served as a bathroom door allowed Alex to thrust his limbs out helplessly.
The girl walked over with a delicate grace, like a princess bringing water to a desert nomad. Her pink dress swept in the breeze, and her shiny black shoes click-clacked on the walkway. She approached the gate Alex was trapped behind and looked up at him expectantly.
"Can you help me get out?" Alex asked in the friendliest voice he could muster, given the terrible situation.
The lovely girl crossed her arms and smiled back. Alex's spirits soared, higher than a eagle at the zoo aviary. What were the chances someone would walk by and be able to help him on a day like this? His day was definitely looking up.
"Why would I want to help you?" she asked.
…
Clearly this demonic creature was the apocalyptic sign of the world's impending doom.
The earthquake must have summoned the vilest beasts from the deepest reaches of the underworld in a scheme to torture poor Alex. Despite his noble intentions of helping the animals, he was to be subjected to these incomprehensible verbal invectives that voraciously ate away at his rapidly diminishing pride. This demon spawn child and her corrupt being were clearly going to be no help towards Alex's escape. Her angelic nature and guise of purity were simply an illusion to the darkness in her soul. Alex was probably going to need another way out.
"Where is your mom?" Alex asked, trying to maintain a polite demeanor, despite his growing anguish.
To no one's surprise, the child rolled her eyes. "Who's askin'?" She crossed her arms with the intensity of a rebellious teenager.
Alex was about to start screaming and throwing paper towel rolls at the girl when a woman in zookeeper attire walked up to the two. She smiled at Alex and unlocked the metal gate.
"Hi, I'm Shawna. The new caretaker? I was supposed to start on Monday but I was called in to help with the zoo issue…"
Alex stopped listening and stood in the bathroom doorway for a few moments, mouth agape and love in his eyes. This was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She was everything a zookeeper could dream for - good-looking, polite, and fearless in the vicinity of untamed creatures.
"Is that your daughter?" he asked, gesturing to the untamed creature. He began praying silently.
"No," she said, and Alex's spirits once again lifted past the clouds and into the heavens above. "She's my niece."
Alex's spirit paused for a moment before deciding that was good enough, watching the girl strut away to bother some unsuspecting animals.
"Oh, that's nice," Alex replied, still staring at Shawna's magnificent face. He stopped listening to the words coming out of his mouth.
Shawna stared back at him for a few moments. "I... guess we should start rounding up some animals...?"
Shawna turned away and began to lead a coalition of horses back to their pen. Alex remained there, grinning like an idiot.
***
Together, the zookeepers began to put the many animals back into their enclosures, mostly without incident. The animals, especially the baby seals, gave the two their seal of approval. Thankfully, the majority of animals were unharmed by the earthquake. Although frightened, even the mopey zoo lion hiding in the animal storage room was coaxed out of the pile of pots and pans and taken home. The only real problem occurred when Alex tried to put away some rebellious squirrels who were intent on fighting each other. Alex was bitten several times and suffered minor injuries from the squirrel quarrel.
Shawna chuckled at the incident for days after - especially since Alex's entire body was covered, head to toe, with teeth marks and claw scratches. Alex didn't bother trying to defend his dignity, especially since it gave him an excuse to spend more time with her.
Apart from the animal skirmishes, the zookeepers' efforts worked in tandem as they brought the animals back to their homes. Alex admired his new co-worker as she ensured the comfort of the animals, satisfying all parts of her job description. The two zookeepers were even able to chat from time to time, detailing their progress and asking for assistance on cleaning after certain animals.
By the end of the week, all seven hundred and fifty-two animals were safely led back to their homes and given fine attention and delicate care. The San Andreas Zoo ensured the highest quality of living conditions for the animals by investing all of its funding on the animals' needs. In fact, the zoo enclosures were so comfortable that both Alex and Shawna slept inside various animal exhibits every night. Since the workload was so exhausting and urgent, there was really no time to go back to their homes.
The two zookeepers finally decided their work for the week was finished, and the zoo would be able to reopen on Monday. Alex was gathering up the last of his equipment when Shawna walked up to him.
"Congratulations on restoring the zoo," she said. "Not a bad first week for me."
Alex nodded. "Thanks for your help. I only had to put the majority of the animals away, thanks to your assistance."
She punched him lightly in the arm. "You know very well that I put away just as many animals as you did."
The two laughed. Alex began throwing items into his backpack, eager to go back to his parents' house and take a long shower. The makeshift apartment he had constructed inside the zoo's main office unfortunately lacked a master bathroom.
Both looked over the zoo and the magnificent sunset basking over the horizon. Shawna was silent for a moment before asking, "Hey, do you want to get dinner sometime?"
Alex stopped. Did she just ask him out? Alex was now faintly aware of how sweaty his back was. His mouth dried up and his tongue tied itself in knots around his teeth. An invitation to spend time with other human beings? Alex couldn't remember the last time he actually interacted with someone that wasn't a part of a zoo exhibit. Though frightened, his tongue managed to croak out an affirmation and the two made dinner reservations.
"Don't forget," Shawna called as she walked home, for the first time in a week. "Tomorrow at eight!"
Alex was terrified.
***
With the fading sun came an array of lustrous stars, and with the lustrous stars came a lot of good Italian food at the Fontana restaurant downtown. The restaurant was especially busy on the weekends, and reservations were a must if you wanted a table. The candlelight dimly illuminated the table of the two zookeepers, who sat among other guests chatting quietly on the restaurant patio.
Alex and Shawna stared deeply into the dinner menus, utterly silent.
It had been at least fifteen minutes and Shawna pretended not to notice that Alex had not looked up since they sat down. Hopefully he was still awake.
Alex cast furtive glances at his wonderful dinner date while pretending to examine the items on the menu. The Italian restaurant they came to was rated highly for its formal appearance combined with its casual prices.
Shawna tried to think of some way to start an intelligent conversation. "This is getting hawkward…?" No, no, that's way too cheesy. "Did you see those new lemurs in exhibit 9?" Of course he did; he works there! Shawna absentmindedly traced her finger down the endless list of Italian dishes. Perhaps some spaghetti?
Alex looked down at his tie and wondered if the royal blue was too formal for a casual dinner. Maybe he should have opted for a crimson, or even a burgundy one.
Shawna began wondering how a Californian restaurant served lobster. Geographically lobsters were more common off of the Atlantic coast. Shipped across the country for only ten dollars? Maybe the lobster was just imitation seafood. That didn't sound very appetizing.
Alex hoped the shrimp balls tasted good. Last time he got Italian food there was an incident involving spaghetti sauce and a lot of fried squid organs.
"What can I get for you?"
Both Alex and Shawna nearly leaped out of their chairs. The waiter, noticing that their table had gone nearly twenty minutes without activity, decided to check up on the interesting couple.
Alex dried his sweaty palms on the tablecloth, a velvety silk red one that probably cost more than the zoo's endangered leap frog. He glanced down at the menu a few more times before ordering a fine pasta with roma tomatoes and extra extra virgin olive oil. The waiter noted the request and asked the same question to Shawna. While Shawna ordered Alex wondered if anyone noticed that he had nearly fallen out of his chair.
"It's ironic how some people here eat the animals we take care of," Shawna remarked after the waiter had left.
"Well, at least these aren't endangered," Alex replied, becoming more comfortable with the idea of making eye contact. Her eyes were a wonderful shade of hazel…
Their food quickly arrived and both zookeepers ate ravenously, perhaps more like the animals they took care of. With food in his stomach Alex felt more confident speaking with the beautiful girl in front of him.
"Do you know your niece well?" Alex inquired, recalling the terrible meeting. He tried to cover up the fact that he had just spilled parmesan cheese all over his pants.
"Yeah… Her parents made me take her to work because she loves watching elephants," Shawna grimaced. "She's quite the pain to take outside. She started screaming because she couldn't find any elephants."
"Exhibit 10," Alex immediately noted. "So many people ask me for directions that the locations are sort of ingrained into my memory at this point." He took another bite. "Our elephants are actually hybrids. Half-breeds, between the Asian and African varieties. So I don't know if they would conform to your niece's standards..."
"Your wine," the waiter prompted, coming up to the table and graciously sweeping his arm.
"I could gopher some exquisite wine." Shawna replied, winking at Alex. The server poured her a glass.
Alex grinned. "Are we on animal puns now? Because toucan play at that game." He gestured for the waiter to pour some into his own glass and thanked him.
"These jokes are becoming un-bear-able." the waiter groaned, with the hint of a smile. He was called over to another table by a man in his late forties, sitting with his business partner. The waiter set down a plate of ravioli and walked over to the man's table.
Both zookeepers laughed at the waiter's zoo puns. It came out as a cross between a groan and a mild chuckle.
Shawna passed Alex the ravioli. "So what is it like to be descended from some of the greatest zookeepers in the world?"
"I'm assuming you looked me up on Google." Alex wiped his mouth. The ravioli Shawna offered him was delicious. "To be honest, it's really intimidating. I feel like I'm chasing after their dreams, trying to surpass their accomplishments, without really thinking about my own. I wish I could just forget about what they've done and focus on what I've done."
"I suppose you could add 'saving zoo animals from an earthquake' to your legacy."
"Finally, some koala-ty recognition around here," Alex replied and they clinked their glasses. A waiter came by and placed a plate of lasagna on the table. Alex picked it up and placed it near Shawna's glass. He tried to think of something else to say. "By the way, this wine is delicious. What brand did you order?"
"Me? I thought you ordered it." Shawna looked confused.
Another waiter came by with a heaping pile of oysters and set it down onto their table before being called over. The man a few tables over stood up and shouted at the two bewildered waiters.
"Wait, did you order the ravioli then?" Alex became increasingly puzzled as Shawna shook her head. The man was now protesting to the restaurant manager. Alex could overhear the words 'delay' and 'table number'.
Alex looked down at their own table number. The engraved "8" was old and was badly worn away, looking more like a "3". Coincidentally, the complaining man's table was the number "3"...
"I think we just ate someone else's dinner." Shawna remarked. "Perhaps the gentleman zookeeper in front of me would…?"
"Don't look at me; I only brought twenty bucks."
Shawna raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure that wine was at least a hundred."
"Perhaps we should leave now," Alex suggested calmly. The two left the money on the table (for the food that they actually ordered) and walked outside inconspicuously. They could hear a commotion erupting from within the restaurant.
"Where is my food… My wine!" As if on cue, the zookeepers ran into the night as fast as their legs could carry them.
***
Both were tipsy on the way back to Alex's apartment in the zoo complex. Alex hadn't been back to his room in weeks since the zoo commotion. He was thankful that the hippopotamus didn't track mud in his bedroom. Stumbling, he realized that the wine was stronger than he expected. He put his arm around Shawna's shoulder to balance himself.
Shawna twinkled with laughter, like stars rising from the fading light of an autumn evening. They started up the stairs to Alex's apartment. "I can't believe we actually got out of there. That guy looked like he was going to fight us."
"I could take him," Alex said woozily. Shawna laughed.
"We really cleaned this place up," she remarked. "There are more stars than animals tonight!"
Alex laughed with her, "We actually put back all seven hundred and fifty two point five-"
He froze. Something didn't seem right.
A rumbling sound vibrated throughout the complex. The apartment building started shaking with a sense of nostalgia. Alex fell to the ground. The apartment creaked and howled like it was being torn apart from its hinges and tossed into an incinerator. Alex opened his eyes. Shawna clutched the bookcase, watching as papers and furniture fell from the tables. She was shouting now, over the trembling floor of Alex's office on the third floor. "Is this an earthquake?" Alex looked around in a panic. He grabbed Shawna's hand and led her back the way they came. The two rushed towards the staircase.
The rumbling stopped. The two glanced at one another. Aftershocks don't usually arrive weeks after the initial quake. A sudden realization dawned on Alex’s face.
'There were seven hundred and fifty two point five animals at San Andreas Zoo.'
'An elephant trunk sticking out of the window.'
'Couldn't find the elephants.'
'Our elephants are half-breeds.'
Alex turned towards his bedroom door. A triumphant trumpet sounded from his room.
Alex stared at the door handle and slowly turned the knob.
