Sophie

18

The sun rose and everything fell. The stars and moon went back to hiding just below the tree line and the darkness went away. Alex didn’t quite understand how this magical occurrence came to be every morning, but as he was a dog, he didn’t quite understand many things. For example, bicycles or why he could never catch the furry log attached to his rear end. Alex scratched his ear as he contemplated the ball of fire that the Tall Ones called the sun. The Tall Ones liked the sun. They would take off their clothes and lie on the ground when the sun was out. Alex would always bark at the Tall Ones to get off of their awn chairs and take him on a nice walk around the block but they would ignore his efforts. Alex sighed. The Tall Ones were not trained very well, he knew that to be true. It was his fault. He had spoiled them from the start, never making them accountable for their actions, like their lack of manners, (not taking whiffs of guests’ butts when they came over for dinner) and their lack of social skills, (not barking at the mailman when he stopped in front of the house).
“Tall Ones? May I please have a biscuit? I do enjoy biscuits,” Alex asked. The Tall Ones did not answer.
“Excuse me, Tall Ones! Did you not hear me? I said I would enjoy a biscuit, please.” Alex said.
Again, no response. Alex rolled his eyes and swatted at a fly with his paw. Being the dog/patriarch of this family was hard work.
“Do I really have to do everything around here,” Alex huffed. 
“I do all the lawn-pooping, I do all the ass-sniffing, I even bark at the neighbor’s kids when they bike in front of the house, all on my own! No one ever even offers to help.”
Alex got up from his warm spot on the patio and padded his way into the house and made his way to the pantry, not forgetting to take an anger piss on one of the Tall Ones’ shoes, just out of spite. Well partially because he was a dog and partially out of spite. Maybe 60/40. He got to the pantry and hopped on top of the kitchen table. He was so close to the biscuits, he could almost taste them. There was only one issue. The handle to the door of the pantry. Opposable thumbs were the only way Alex would get the door open and finally have the delicious biscuit he had been craving. Alex furrowed his fuzzy brow. How was he going to get his treat without one of the Tall Ones? This was the sole reason he even kept them around, and they were abandoning him in his time of need! Unacceptable. Alex was just going to have to figure this problem out on his own, just like his father-dog would have. Alex could almost hear his father-dog saying, “You’ll never be shit, Alex. You gotta risk it to get the biscuit! You never take risks, you never trust yourself.”
Alex squared his shoulders and cracked his knuckles. Opposable thumbs or no opposable thumbs, he was going to open the door to the pantry. He represented the canine community, he was going to make them proud. Alex raised one paw solemnly into the air.
“This one is for all the puppies out there who have a dream.”
Alex stared at the door handle and slowly turned the knob.