Lawrence Raia
16
High School Humor Writing Challenge
Lawrence Raia (Age 16)
The sun rose and everything fell. Alex heard it all hit the bathroom floor and raced for the door. It was locked.
“Stanley? You ok? What are you doing in there?”
(Muffled sounds from within)
“What?”
(More muffled sounds)
“What do you mean it’s gone?”
(Agitated sounds)
“Your HAIR is gone? Stanley, why would your hair be gone?”
(Soft whimpering)
“WHAT? Dude, who told you it would be a good idea to cut your own hair??”
(Sniffling sounds)
“So because you saw it on YouTube you thought you could just do it?”
(Indignant sniffling)
“Stanley, we’ve talked about this. There are things you can learn to do on YouTube and there are things you CANNOT learn to do on YouTube.”
(Mocking sounds)
“Yeah, like cutting your own hair.”
(Silence)
“Couldn’t you use YouTube like other people do? To watch cats catch a laser pointer? No one uses it to learn how to pack a parachute or give yourself a tattoo. Wait – what?”
(Excited sounds)
“What do you mean maybe this should only be step one? What on earth could be step two?”
(Buzzing sounds)
“Stanley, STOP whatever you are doing!”
(Whispered question)
“Oh my God, Stanley. Is it both eyebrows or just one?”
(Soft weeping)
“Okay, okay don’t panic. Can you draw it back on with a sharpie?”
(Louder weeping)
“Can you use some of the hair you cut to sort of glue an eyebrow back on…?”
(Wailing)
“Put. The Clippers. Down.”
(Wailing and hiccuping)
Stanley, unlock the door. I’m coming in.”
(Door clicks)
Alex stared at the door handle and slowly turned the knob.
