Somari

Davis

GRADUATING THE APOCALYPSE: A short film
By: Somari Davis
©All Rights Reserved 2015
During the following scene a group of teens sits on the roof admiring the sun as it rises and as an apocalypse begins. In the beginning there will be a narration done by the main character Alex describing the situation to the viewers. While all of his, Alex’s, narration is occurring, the actors should be acting it out. Alex is also the voice of all of the other actors in the short film, so while they say their lines Alex is their voice over. Please also keep in mind that Alex has a stereotypical surfer dude’s voice*

Alex: (narration) The sun rose and everything fell….This was the beginning of the apocalypse. It was horrible. Like literally horrible; everyone was losing their minds. No one saw it coming. One minute we were all sitting on the roof of Nancy and Rachel’s house watching the sun come up after our high school graduation and then BAM, the world started ending…
(The audience/viewers should see the world post-apocalypse)
Alex: Not that fast.
(The audience/viewers should see everyone running panicked in slow motion)
Alex: Not that slow either. Let me start from the beginning so you know what happens at exactly the right speed.
(The audience/viewers should now be able to see where the scene first began with everybody sitting on the roof)
Alex: So, it’s right after our high school graduation and after we all went out with our families to celebrate and what not we had gathered back together on the roof of Nancy and Rachel’ house which is relatively the center of town. Rachel and Nancy are twins.
(The audience/viewers should see them sitting side by side and they have the “same” face)
Alex: Not identical though.
(Viewers should now see they absolutely do not have the same face)
Alex: Derek made sure I got that straightened out, you know? Anyways, we’re chilling on their roof when we see this whole building blown out of it’s middle.
Alex: So, Derek says*:

Derek: ‘Holy crap! Did anyone see that?!’
Alex: And I was like: ‘Yeah, man. I’m pretty sure everyone saw it. I mean we’re all looking off the roof which has pretty good view of everything so…’ . Then Derek asks:
Derek: ‘Do you know what this means?!’
Alex: And I’m like: ‘It means that nobody’s living or working there anymore.’ So he goes all over exaggerated and what not:
Derek: ‘Obviously dumbbutt. But, do you KNOW what THIS MEANS?!’
Alex: And eveybody’s all like shaking their heads ‘no’ absolutely terrified right? And he waits a little bit hoping that we might catch on but, we don’t so I said: ‘Are you going to tell us ‘cuz I’m pretty sure none of us know, man.’ After rolling his eyes he was like:
Derek: ‘It’s the alien invasion! It’s here!’
Alex: So while everybody’s screaming and stuff I shouted: ‘Oh no! The pizza man!’ And everybody stopped and looked at me like I was crazy. So I said, ‘What?’. And they were like,
Rachel, Evan, & Derek: ‘The pizza man? Seriously.’
Alex: And so I was like, ‘Yeah, I ordered pizza for us like ten minutes ago. I was really looking forward to it.’ And they all shake their heads until Rachel gets this really concerned face on like:
(Rachel makes a concerned face)
Alex: Yup like that. And she shouted:
Rachel: NANCY!
Alex: I was like: ‘What about Nancy? She’s so irrelevant?’ So she said:
Rachel: ‘She went to go check if the pizza man came and she never came back!’
Alex: So, of course we all screamed at this point because Nancy was probably dead and stuff.
(Everybody is screaming and freaking out)
Alex: So, then it was if a light bulb went off really in Erin’s head. PING! Ya know? And he was like,
Erin: ‘We have to go find her!’
Alex: Oh, yeah. Erin is Nancy’s boyfriend. I forgot to mention that. Imagine if Nancy and Rachel were identical twins? That would be totally confusing. Anyways so we go back inside their house and look for all of this stuff we could take with us in case we were to be attacked by aliens. We took knives, some sharp things, Cheez-Wiz, marshmallows…what I was hungry…Anyway, all of a sudden we all realize:
Everyone: ‘OUR PARENTS!’
Alex: We have a good cry and what not for like five minutes
(The audience/viewers should see them have like a bawling session and then have a character look at their watch and tell everyone to stop crying)
Alex: And then we went out into the deserted town, which yours truly had pointed out when I noticed how quiet it was because, Rachel and Nancy’s cousin’s neighbor’s dog wasn’t barking like crazy as per normal. Don’t worry they live on the same street as Rachel and Nancy. So, as soon as I pointed that out to the gang they started panicking.
(The cast should start panicking)
Alex: Actually I should say Derek started panicking because I had “proved” him correct.
(Derek should be jumping up and down, and rubbing it in everybody’s face like a five year old for a couple of beats before Alex continues the narration)
Alex: But, whatever. That’s kind of irrelevant. So, we made it to Parker’s Pizzeria right. And Derek finds something that looks like some alien guns lying around. So, of course he gets super excited.
(Derek should commence in a childish type manner of being correct again)
Alex: Again, it’s whatever because the big thing is when I point out and say, ‘Aliens wouldn’t just leave their junk lying around for anyone to take.’ Let’s just say Derek did not like that.
(Derek should get mad and Rachel has to hold him back while Erin holds back Alex, everyone should remain in these stances during the following monologue)
Alex: Even Erin agreed and he was all:
Erin: ‘Yeah, have you seen an alien movie where they even do that?’
Alex: Derek really did not like that.
(Derek should get mad even more and Rachel’s still holding him back while Alex now holds Erin back.)
Alex: So, mad Derek went:
Derek: ‘They would only do that if they were plotting a trap!’
Alex: He had this crazy look in his eye and he’s usually this stuck up kept together dude.
(Derek composes himself)
Alex: So, I said: ‘But think of this logically man—‘ And then Derek cuts me off:
Derek: ‘Alex, that’s the thing they want us to think logically.’
Alex: And I was like, ‘What? You sound cr—‘ But, I don’t get to finish again because Rachel made this face like: Don’t say it. Don’t say he’s crazy.
(Have Rachel motion to not say anything to Alex)
Alex: So, I didn’t. And then this noise rips through the town like something eerie like outta movie or something. Before I can say my prediction of that noise being some construction vehicle
(Have one construction vehicle drive by the side door of the pizzeria which only Alex and the viewers see)
Alex cont’d: they drag me out of the pizzeria and back to Rachel and Nancy’s house with the “alien” guns they “found”. So when we finally get back to the house and lock the door we are out of breath. I mean pooped; exhausted; disgustingly tired.
(Each of those adjectives should be acted or emphasized by the actor)
Alex: When all of a sudden I get a….an epiphany! Or rather a light bulb went off in my ol’ noggin. So I was like, ‘Guys! I just remembered something!’ So they’re all lookin’ at me like I’m some God that holds all the answers to the world’s questions.
(Have everyone one be at his feet begging for a silent answer)
Alex: And I said, ‘Remember when we were all leaving the house all frantic and what not?’ And they were like:
(Still at his feet)
Erin, Rachel, and Derek: ‘Yeah’
Alex: So I said, ‘Well, I was stuck watching TV remember and you had to pull me away?’ And they were all like:
(There should be a brief moment where there is a flashback of Alex looking at the TV eating his Cheez-Wiz and marshmallows and Erin rips him away from the TV on his way out)
(Still at his feet)
Erin, Rachel, and Derek: ‘Yeah’
Alex: ‘Well’ I said. ‘It was the news and they said they were filming some sci-fi flick in town this week and had to set-up some construction while they were shooting’ I finished. I would like to say that’s where they praise me but, they don’t. Derek proceeded to lose his cool.
(Derek is fuming)
(Actors should really act this out as these lines are being spoken)
Alex: (During these lines Rachel should be holding back Derek and Erin is holding back Alex) And he’s calling me like a dumb butt and what not. So I was ya know really offended and we were going at it calling each other names and I said that ‘if you put a rock up his butt it’d come out a diamond.’ And he was like, ‘You stole that from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!” And I said, ‘I know!’. And then he was like, ‘You speak like from a surfer in California and we’re in Nebraska!’ And I said, ‘I knoooooow! My aunt’s dog’s neighbor’s owner’s best friend’s from California! That’s where I get it from!’ and then a knock came on the door. We all froze stiff. And that’s where I bring you to the present time or present situation.
(All actors are still voiced by Alex)
Alex: Derek says, ‘Who is it?’ And I was like, ‘I don’t know.’ And Rachel goes, ‘Maybe it’s Nancy.’ We all creep to the door. And I, Alex stared at the door handle and slowly turned the knob.

THE END