Leslie

18

The Slumber Party
Alex: The sun rose and everything fell. Although I didn’t know it then, that day, the day I got the invitation, would change everything I thought I knew about teen culture, regionalisms, and my own mother. I know that sounds kind of dramatic, but I’m a fifteen year old girl in a small town in Minnesota, and I’m stuck here until I go to college, so I’m going to milk the drama of this experience for all it’s worth. I might even write my common app essay about this.
(A pink envelope comes through mail slot, Alex bends down and picks it up. Alex stands up, and opens it. It is on glittery pink paper with sparkly silver writing.)
Krissy: You’re Invited!
When: Saturday 5/8, 6:00 pm to Sunday 5/9 12:00 pm
Where: My house, in beautiful Champlin, MN!!
Why: For some gurrrllll time!
What we’re gonna do:
Paint our nails!
Wear Face Masks!
Talk about BOIS!!!!
From, Krissy Jacobson
Alex: Cool.
(Later, Alex is in the kitchen with her mother)
Alex: Krissy Jacobson invited me to her sleepover.
Mother: Well, that’s nice. I’m glad to see you’re making new friends here. Moving is always hard.
Alex: Yeah, and Krissy is like the most popular girl in the grade. I mean, if she already likes me, then this new school should be a breeze.
(Later, Alex stands in front of Krissy Jacobson’s house. She can hear girls talking inside)
Alex: Well, this is it. (Walks in)
All the girls turn around. Each and every one of them is wearing some kind of mask, be it surgical, or mardi gras, or Plague doctor bird beak. (All the girls have thick mid-western accents)
Other Girls (collectively ad-lib): she didn’t even bring a mask who does this girl think she is. It obviously said face masks on the invitation, what a dummy. Krissy shouldn’t have invited her.
Alex: Uh-uh, I’m sorry, I uh, I thought you meant like, you know the (mimics putting on and peeling off a face mask) with like the cucumbers over your eyes…
Amanda: What are you even talking about right now what even is that.
Alex: Okay, sure, it’s just on the invitation it said…. Well, I think we can all agree it was worded a little ambiguously. (Alex puts down her stuff, and sits on the floor with the others) Do you have, like, extra masks or…(all the other girls turn away)
Alex: So, when are we gonna start painting our nails? I brought along some polish… I mean I didn’t have any of my own but I borrowed some from my mom so…
Sarah: Did you even bring nails?
Alex: (looks down at her own hands) I mean I thought I did but…
Amanda: Ugh I bet she doesn’t even know where the closest hardware store is.
Alex: No, no I just moved here. Does everyone else know where it is? Wait, are you guys, like, painting wood nails? Like the kind you buy at Home Depot?
(Girls around the room nod like “yeah duh”)
Samantha: It’s okay I brought extra nails.
(Girls ohh and ahh with delight, ad-lib “what color are you going to paint yours?” etc)
(The other girls start to paint their nails, Alex nervously joins in.)
(Later, while the nails are drying on paper towels in the kitchen.)
Krissy: So, now for the main event, okay? I’ve got some pictures of bois…. (all the other girls ohh and ahh)
Krissy: I know right?
Alex: (trying very hard to fit in) Yeah, I know, I mean that kid Kevin is smokin’ hot, am I right?
(All the other girls look aghast)
Alex: Do you not think so…. Oh! No! That guy Sean is so much hotter!
Different Girl: That’s really rude, okay Alex. That’s really personal information, and I don’t think you’d like it if the guys talked about you like that, so you shouldn’t talk about them like that.
Krissy: Yeah.
Sarah: That’s gross.
Alex: Oh C’MON. Krissy has a whole folder full of pictures of guys and you guys seemed really into that, so I don’t really understand what’s going on here.
Amanda: What guys? This is about bois.
Alex: What? Bois and guys mean the same thing.
Samantha: What are you even talking about right now?
Alex: On the invitation you said we were going to talk about boys!
Krissy: Yeah. Jon Bois.
Amanda: He’s the sports reporter of the modern age, Alex, and he’s amazing.
Alex: On the invitation you clearly said we were going to talk about BOIS, like ‘damn boooiiii that’s a sweet ride’ and now you’re telling me that this whole stupid party is about a sports reporter?
Krissy: Yeah, his poster’s up everywhere. (pan around room to tons of pics of him). And he’s not just any sports reporter. He’s the only modern sports reporter, soooo… (gives a look of utter disdain). What you said doesn’t even make any sense. Boys like that is spelt with a y. Think before you say, Alex.
Alex: Yeah, but you know it’s like slang, like something most people would know about…
(Girls look at her blankly)
Alex: (sighs) I’ll call my mom. (Angrily) Just so you know, this was all very confusing and I think your style of writing is purposefully misleading, so…. (Leaving)
(Later, Alex’s mother is in car, pulls up to front steps of Krissy’s house.)
Mother: Alex stared at the car door, unsure if she really wanted to leave the party, or if she was just getting cold feet because she felt a little uncomfortable.
Alex: Yes, yes I’m sure I want to leave. These people are weird and they talk funny and they don’t seem to understand like common teenage girl activities and I don’t get them. Let’s go home.
Back at the sleepover:
Krissy: Now that she’s gone, would you guys prefer pop or club soda?

Mother: Alex’s mother gave her a pleading look, as if to say, “sweetie, try to be normal and have fun.” (Mother makes a face that suggests that)
(Alex looks very confused)
Alex: So are you going to give me a ride home, or……….
Mother: Alex’s mother declined her daughter’s request.
Alex: So I have to stay here……..
Mother: Yes.
Alex: O.. Okay.
(Alex turns around, approaches the door to the house.)
Alex: Just so you know, mom, I think we need to leave the mid-west. I don’t understand what any of these people are saying ever. It’s complete Gibberish. I really do want to go to home right now.
Back at the sleepover:
Krissy: We should make ice cream sundaes and put lots of jimmies on them!

(Alex’s mother does not respond. Alex rolls her eyes and walks toward the door.)
Mother, still the car, watching Alex: Alex walked back towards Krissy’s party. Alex stared at the door handle and slowly turned the knob.