Kaustav

14

The sun rose and everything fell. Alex watched as his house of cards broke inward. He watched as the cards collapsed. His whole night's work fell as he watched and listened to Katy Perry’s Fireworks. “Like a House of Cards, One blow from caving in.” Alex put his hands on his face and lets his emotions take over. “Yes, Katy Perry! Yes!” Alex shouted in despair, “I do feel ‘like a plastic bag drifting through the wind’!” Alex gave up and laid back on the floor which was scattered with hundreds of cards.

“DUDE! Wake up man!” Alex’s roommate, John, burst out when he saw Alex asleep on the floor. “Why are you sleeping on the floor, bro?”
“Because I can.” Alex says sitting up, “Its not like I got a job or anything.”
“What happened to your card house, bro?” John asked, “And why are you listening to Katy Perry?”
“What? You have a problem with Katy Perry?” Alex countered, obviously still in a bad mood.
“Nah, man.” John apologized, “This is my favorite song! ‘Cause baby you’re a firework. Come on show ‘em what you’re worth-”
“JOHN! I get it.” Alex interrupted.
“Sorry, bro.” John apologized again, “Dude, why are you on the down low? Is it because of your card house?” he babbled.
“Yeah.”
“Anyway we’ve got an interview today, bro. So get off your butt dude.” He encouraged.
* * *
“Alright man get in.” John said standing by the Prius. “We’re late for the McDonald’s interview dude.”
“Yeah,” Alex said discouraged, “I can’t believe neither of us got a job at Subway.”
“But that’s Subway! It’s not our cup of tea, bro.”
“Yeah, but I needed a job.”
“We will get a job, bro. I guarantee it. Now get in, bro.”
“Let’s practice for the interview.” Alex recommended.
“Alright, good idea. Now repeat after me. ‘Hi! I’m Alex and welcome to McDonald’s!’”
“Do I have to?”
“Yeah, bro!”
“But what do you know?”
“Both my parents worked at McDonald’s, bro.” John said proudly.
“And look how you turned out.”
“Hater’s gonna hate.”
* * *
Alex walked up to the McDonald’s, opened the door and walked up to the counter. “Hi! I’m Bill, and welcome to McDonald’s!” Alex turned and saw a grin on John’s face. Alex stuffed a dollar bill into John’s extended arm.
“Hi. I’m here for an interview.” Alex asked nervously.
“Hi! Lauren can help you,” Bill said while pointing to a girl who was walking over.
“Hi you must be either Alex or John.” She said.
“Yeah, I’m Latex, uhh Lallex um, Alex.” He stuttered,
“Okay. Let’s go see how well you can make some burgers.” Lauren said.
“Alright.”
* * *
“So how did it go, bro?” John asked when Alex walked out.
“Terrible.”
“Okay. I had my interview too. I got job, bro!”
“Good for you.” Alex said with his head hung low. Let’s go home.”
* * *
“Ugh.” Alex moaned while jumping on to the sofa. “This sucks,I suck.”
“Get up bro!” John encouraged. You can’t give up man! I know you’ll get another job at McDonald’s, bro! Because this is America! You know why?”
“Because America is the land of second chances.” Alex responded.
“NO! Wrong, man! Let’s look out the window for a moment.” He lifted Alex up and asked “What do you see?”
“Four McDonald’s and a Walmart.”
“EXACTLY! This is America, man. The land of McDonald's and Walmarts!”
“I guess that’s what America really is about.”
“Dude! I can help you get a job.”
“How?” Alex asked.
“Well you know how I got a job right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well if I got a job then you can get a job too, bro!”
“But how are you gonna help me?”
“I tell you what to do and you do it. Ok?”
“I guess.”
“First we need get a lot of hamburger buns.”
* * *
“First make a lot of sandwiches” John told Alex.
“Are you kidding?” Alex asked with a disappointed look on his face.
“Nope. Go! Go! Go! I’m gonna put on some Katy Perry to motivate you, bro.” He said walking over to the stereo. “Baby you’re a firework!” John sang.
“SHUT IT!” Alex yelled from the kitchen.
“Jeez, dude. Calm down, bro.” John apologized before sitting on the sofa and turning on the T.V.
“HELP!” ALex screamed.
“Dude calm down. Give me a bit, the M&M commercial is on.” Still sitting on the sofa. “I wish we could afford some, bro.”
“JOHN!” Alex panicked, “IT’S ON FIRE!”
“What’s on fire?!” John asked while jumping off the sofa.
“The cucumbers!”
John stopped in his tracks, “The what?”
“THE CUCUMBERS!”
John dashed into the kitchen with a fire extinguisher in his hands. “I knew something like this would happen so I borrowed one from the neighbors.” John explained. “But how? Just how? How do you burn the cucumbers?”
“I don’t know. It just sort of happened.”
“Well then make two and them come give them to me, ok? To test how well you’ve done.”
“But it’s dinner time,” Alex argued, “Can’t I just take a break?”
“Dude, do you want a job or not?” John explained as he walked back into the living room. Ten minutes later Alex came back with two burgers. “Thank you, bro.” John said as he took a huge bite out of the first one. “It’s good,” he said with his mouth full. Then John just sat there and ate both the burgers. “They were good, bro.”
“Are you kidding, John?” Alex asked ticked off.
“I might as well eat the sandwiches, man” John said innocently.

The next morning John told Alex “Dude get ready, I got something special planned for today.”
“Ok. What is it?” Alex asked.
“Well I invited a couple of people over for lunch so you can practice taking people’s orders and making burgers really fast. It’s why they call it fast food.” John explained proudly. “I invited Joe, Goodwin, and Ethan”
* * *
The doorbell rung and John sprung to his feet. As he headed for the door he asked, “You ready Alex? Joe! Come on in. We’ll wait for everyone to get here and then Alex will make burgers! Right?”
“Yep!” Alex faked enthusiasm.
After Goodwin and Ethan arrived John said “Ok, bros. Alex can start taking your orders.” As Alex headed to the kitchen John whispered to the guests, “He’s practicing for a McDonald’s interview. He doesn’t actually need to do any of this crap but I get free burgers so I’m not complaining.”
Alex turned around and looked at John. “Are you kidding me? Ooh he’s gonna get it” As he walked back to the group he asked them“what do you guys want?”
“I don’t want any tartar sauce” Joe said.
“I don’t want the pattie, I’m a vegetarian.” Goodwin replied.
“Normal for me” Ethan said.
“Me too.” John added.
“Alrighty then!” Alex went back to the kitchen. As he made all of their sandwiches. Except when he got to John he pulled out his special surprise. “Laxatives! Have nice time John!” Alex went back to the guys and gave them their sandwiches.
A few minutes later John looked up from his food and said, “Oh yeah, I forgot to-” John doubled over. “I forgot to- give me a minute” He yelled as he ran to the bathroom.
“Aw man! What’s that smell!” Goodwin cried out as John walked out of the bathroom.
“Sorry guys!” John said returning to the table. “I was saying-” John doubled over again. “Give me a minute!” He yelled as he ran to the bathroom again.
“Sorry Alex, but I’m gonna go. The burger was good and all but I can’t take his crap.” Goodwin said standing up.
“Me too.” Ethan added.
“Ok, bye!” Alex said with a grin. He sat on the couch until John came out. “John, you stink!” he exclaimed with disgust.
“Dude, I’m sorry, bro.” John apologized, “Not my fault, bro!”
“Then who’s fault is it?”
“I don’t know? My stomach?”
“Anyway I’m going to go to McDonald’s for an interview in a bit.” Alex told John. “So I’m gonna go get ready.” He got off the couch and headed into his room.
* * *
Alex drove into the parking lot of the McDonald’s that was a couple blocks away from his apartment. Alex stared at the door handle and slowly turned the knob.