Daniel

14

The Tenant

The sun rose and everything fell.
There was only the light now, getting brighter and brighter. Alex looked into its shimmering hands as they reached for him, getting closer and closer, as though they could swallow him…
And then, in the blink of an eye, he was standing in an elevator.
It was old, its green paint peeling on the floor. The light was dim, and bad elevator music was playing. Alex braced himself as the elevator churned, made a few unusual noises, and started to move down.
When the eerie elevator ride was finally over, the doors opened to show a disgusting hallway. The whole place was an old, run-down apartment complex. Dust coated the floor, and roaches scuttled all around Alex as he walked. At one point, a large, furry creature ran by, its tail brushing his leg. He chose to ignore it.
There was a door at the end of the hallway, and Alex walked over to it. He could hear some noise on the other side, so he put his ear to the door. A voice was singing, old and rough, but still melodic. Alex listened in.

“...Oh, its hot down in the basement,
With the scoundrels and the jerks;
The acoustics are unbearable,
The AC never works.
The boss man keeps me down here
And he doesn’t pay me jack;
One day I’m gonna come up there
And tell him that he’s whack.
My baby left me years ago,
And now I’m all alone,
But at least I’ve got this hell-hole
That I can call my own.
See, all my friends done left me,
Except my trusty mutt.
And it feels like it’s been centuries
That I’ve been in this rutt.
Yeah, all I hear down in this place
Is my old doggy’s howls,
And all I smell down in this place
Is my old doggy’s bowels.”

Then, a harmonica began to play. Alex slowly pushed the door open. It was an old furnace room, as rundown as the rest of the place. The man who had been singing sat looking away from Alex, playing the harmonica sadly. An extremely obese basset hound lay by his side, slobber pouring down its mouth. It turned to Alex, looked at him halfheartedly, and then glanced away.
Alex cleared his throat. The man stopped playing and turned around, showing an old, worn-out face. He tried to look angry, but Alex could see the age and tiredness that sat behind his grimace.
“Who goes there?” He said, attempting intimidation but just sounding sad instead.
“Um… I’m Alex,” Alex said. “Who are you?”
“I’m the superintendent of this apartment complex,” the man said, sighing. “I have been for God knows how long.”
“Well, what do you do?” Alex asked.
“Oh, you know, take care of the garbage mostly.” The man sighed. “When the tenants clog up their toilets, guess who has to clean them? When there’s a rat infestation, you know who they call? But do they ever thank me afterwards? Nope, they just make me out to be some kind of big jerk. Wouldn’t you be grouchy if you had to deal with the people around here?”
“I guess I would be,” Alex said. The basset hound slouched over to him and plopped down
its back. Alex scratched its belly, choosing to ignore the unusual amount of fleas in its fur. It let out a guttural noise in satisfaction.
“Yeah,” the superintendent said. “The worst part is, my boss, the landlord, doesn’t give me any recognition. I haven’t even gotten a raise in what feels like centuries.”
“I’m sorry, man,” Alex said. “Bosses suck.”
“Well, thank goodness you came along,” the man said. “I was getting lonely out here with Mr. Wiggles.” The dog stirred and let out a grunt before lying back down.
“Oh, no problem. But, uh, if you don’t mind me asking… Where am I?”
“Where everyone goes at the end of a long day,” the man said, mysteriously. “Try to guess.”
“A bar?”
“No, not…” The man sighed. “Come on, man, just take me seriously. I’m trying to do a riddle.”
“Oh. Uh…” Alex pondered for a second. “A… grave?”
“Almost! You’re so close. Sooo close. Just...”
“I don’t ---”
“It rhymes with, uh, rafter… strife?”
“Oh,” Alex said. “Afterlife.” He gasped.
“Yup! And this is the basement.”
“So… I died,” Alex said, holding his breath. “That’s why I’m here. And… I got into hell.”
“Yessir,” the superintendent said.
“I can’t believe it. I led an almost perfect life and everything! Is this because of
that one time in college when my classmates pressured me into…” He gulped. “Saying the S word?”
“Buddy, don’t be upset. Almost everyone ends up down here.”
“But… I prayed every night! How could God do this?”
“I know, right?” The man said. “You know, it’s not fair for people like us. He sends us
down here and just forgets about us. He won’t even reply to my E-Vites when I’m hosting a party down here… Although, most people don’t come. But still. I can’t even get a band together down here.” His voice began to tremble. “It’s like he doesn’t even care about me.”
“Well… You know what?” Alex said. “Why don’t you stand up to him then?”
“Huh?” The man said, confused.
“Tell the landlord that you should be treated better. Come on, I’ll come with you.”
“You know…” The man paused. “You’re right. I can’t stand this place anymore. I haven’t done anything wrong! I deserve to be treated like a human being for once, and I’m gonna tell him that. You know, we should bring eggs, too, to throw over his room. Or a really loud boombox.”
“Yes. Come on, let’s go show him that you’re angry.”
“Okay, okay,” the man said. “Yes, I like this idea. You go on ahead without me for now; I need to get ready. I’m gonna grab my guitar, some matches, maybe dog food if we’re gonna be there a while… I’ll come in a few minutes.”
“Alright,” Alex said, walking out the door.
After a while of standing outside the door, Alex suddenly heard a noise coming from behind the door. He nudged it open and looked in.
There, he could see the man with the guitar in his hands, a melancholy look on his face. He strummed it slowly, his eyes closed. His dog howled along with him. In that moment, Alex realized something, and felt very sad for the superintendent. He understood that, no matter how much he wanted to, the guy would never have the bravery to face his boss. He was already starting to question the decision, to second guess himself. He’d do this forever, always on the brink of rebellion but never quite angry enough. There was a scariness in infinity, Alex realized.
He sighed as he walked into the elevator and punched the top floor button. Well then, he thought to himself, he’d be going upstairs alone.

This time, the hallway was perfectly clean. Alex’s shoes left dirt marks on the marble floor as he walked. A man with an elephant head was passed out by the door, a beer bottle hanging loosely in one of his four hands. Really bad EDM music was playing from behind a door, the bass shaking the floor. Alex tried to get in, but the unconscious guy’s body was pressed against the door. When Alex tried to move him, he stirred, mumbled something incoherent, and fell over.
Alex opened the door and stepped into the room. Instantly, he pressed his hands against his ears. The dance music was deafening. It came from a large DJ booth in the center of the room, a bunch of mixtapes lying all over the floor. A scrawny man was playing around with the DJ machine. He had long, blonde hair and an unshaven beard, and he swayed back and forth to the terrible music.
“Um… Excuse me?” Alex shouted over the noise.
“Sh, man,” the guy said into his microphone. “Yo, come check this out.”
He started to beatbox really loudly over the beat, spitting all over Alex’s face in the process. Alex endured the stream of “Buns-kts” and bad record-scratching imitations until the music finally died down.
“So,” the guy said, panting as he laid the mic down. “What do you need, bro?”
“Uh,” Alex said, pausing. “This is… heaven, right?”
“Yeah, man,” the guy said. “I’m the landlord. The O.G. You know, One God.”
“Oh my… God! It’s an honor!” Alex said, taken aback. “I --- wow! I have so many questions!”
“Just make it quick,” the guy said, fiddling around with the booth.
“Uh… Wow. I can’t even…” He stopped for a second. “Well, I have one. There’s a part in
the New Testament, where it says---”
“Actually, uh, I don’t think I could answer that,” the guy said, pressing a few buttons. A
loud, screechy techno noise came out of the booth.
“What?” Alex said, confused.
“I haven’t really read that yet,” the guy said. “I heard it’s good though. I just got a few friends to write it. You know, to get the paparazzi excited. But yeah, I still haven’t gotten around to it yet.”
“But… Jesus is real, right?” Alex asked, taken aback.
“Oh, yeah, yeah,” the man said. “He ran off somewhere a little while ago, though. I think he’s going through his angsty teenage phase right now, always rebelling against his dad and listening to his emo music. But hey, with him gone, I get more time to pursue my music career. Any more questions?”
“Yeah. I, uh, met a man downstairs,” Alex said. “Sort of scruffy, sad. Who was he?”
“Oh, that jerk who plays the sappy blues music?” The man asked. Alex nodded. “He’s lucifer. Sort of a pain in the butt. He used to be in charge of this place with me, but he said I played my music too loud. He just can’t appreciate my art, you know? Anyway, I sent him down to the basement. I’m the lord of this place, after all.”
“Oh. Wow.” Alex thought back to the man downstairs, how sad and misunderstood he’d seemed. Alex always imagined the devil as a big bad guy, but right now, God seemed like much more of a jerk. He almost seemed childish.
“So, um, can I find someone I know around here?” Alex asked. “My uncle Ed converted to hinduism, and I kind of want an ‘I told you so’ moment.”
“Oh, he’s not wrong, bro,” the man said. “We have all the religions here. Your uncle’s probably on the hinduism floor, which is number four, if you want to go visit him.”
“Wait, what?” Alex said, taken aback. “You mean… You’re not the only god?”
“It’s not that hard, man,” the guy said, visibly annoyed. “I’m your god, because you believe in me. But not everyone has the same faith; I personally think of myself as a buddhist. Even the atheists get some kind of big, empty room with a bunch of science books.”
Alex felt cold. “All my life… I thought Christianity was the true religion. I was raised in a strict Christian family, so I pursued it all the time. I went to the Church every sunday, I forced it on my kids, I prayed whenever I got the chance.” He sniffled. “I even got a bunch of Jesus bobbleheads. And even though I had doubts about this religion, even though it didn’t feel right for me, I kept pursuing it and doing everything it told me to. I wasted so much time because I wanted to be… ‘right.’ And now, it turns out… all these prophecies and principles I lived by aren’t even exclusively real. I just wanted to be righteous, but it all turned out… Wrongteous.”
And then, Alex began to cry.
“Oh, jesus,” the guy said, sighing. “No - why - not on the carpet, dude! And you’re gonna get the booth all dirty…” He paused, Alex’s sobs resonating through the room. “Okay, man, cheer up. I’ll offer you a deal. If you really wanna try life again, then I know a way.”
“Really?” Alex said, sniffling.
“Yeah, It’s called ‘reinflanation’, somethin’ like that. I’m really only supposed to give it to people who follow hinduism and buddhism, but YOLO.” Alex cringed, both because of the abbreviation and the fact that he was about to live twice.
“It’s on the first floor. Ask the doorman,” he said.
“Thank you,” Alex said. “Thank you soooo much. I will make this worth it, I swear.”
“Cool story, bro,” the guy said, handing Alex a few mixtapes. “Just make sure to hand these out to your friends. See you around.”
Alex tossed the mixtapes away once he was out of the room.

When Alex stepped out of the elevator, he was brimming with both excitement and fear. He knew he had a choice; he could stay in this hotel and keep all of his memories and experiences, or he could lose that all to let his soul have another chance.
The first floor was quiet and empty, aside from a nicely dressed doorman. He was bald and had a slightly round belly. Alex walked over to him.
“It’s been awhile, Alex,” the doorman said, smiling. His face was very calm, and his eyes seemed familiar.
“Um… Do I… Know you?” Alex asked.
“You do. You just don’t remember me.”
“I… What?” Alex said, confused.
“I’m the doorman,” the doorman chuckled. “I know everyone who comes in and out of here.”
“I’ve come out of here before?” Alex asked.
“Of course. That’s just the kind of person you are, Alex. But now, you’ve got to make a decision. Will you come out of here again?”
“I don’t know,” Alex said. He shivered.
“Let me tell you a story, my friend,” the doorman said. “The first time you were here, you were only ten years old. You had tried to get toast out with a fork.” The man gave a slight chuckle, and Alex looked down. “Oh, don’t be embarrassed. See, you learned from that mistake, didn’t you?”
“I guess so,” Alex said.
“And now, this is the longest you’ve ever been away. Because you learned. That’s the beautiful thing about the soul, Alex. Even your most terrible mistakes - like your second death, when you tried to feed a wild bear some crackers - will ultimately help your soul grow. And when you’re truly ready to stop the cycle, you’ll know it. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I… think I do.” Alex suddenly straightened up. “I’m going to do it.”
“I knew you would,” the doorman said, grinning.
Alex walked to the door. He looked outside. There was a dim light out there, and if he strained his eyes, he could see figures, the outlines of hands reaching for him, as if to take him out.
“So, are you ready?” The doorman asked.
“Yes,” Alex said, anticipation brimming in his heart. He smiled. “YOLO.”
“Go on. I’ll be waiting for you.”
Alex stared at the door handle and slowly turned the knob.