John

15

The sun rose and everything fell.
Obama gave a special speech on the issue, because that's how issues are solved. By giving speeches.
Obama said, "Good morning, my fellow Americans. Today, a true tragedy has hit the American people, even bigger than when Walter White died on Breaking Bad."
A guy named Alex yelled, "Hey, some of us didn't watch the show. Use another metaphor, like when Destiny's Child broke up."
Obama said, "But most of us were pretty happy when that happened." Everyone nodded.
Alex was like, "Really?"
Obama said, "Yes. I mean, yeah it was cool seeing how the Spice Girls would look like if they actually had talent, but it just wore out on me."
Alex said, "Okay, how about when Nixon resigned?"
"Guy deserved it", a journalist said.
So Obama pointed at a door and said, "Okay, it's a bigger tragedy than if you opened that door, because you would be hit on the head a bunch of times since, ya know, the sky is falling."
Alex said, "Oh, okay. Yeah, that one's cool." Then everyone was quiet. Then Alex said, "Well...at least that's less awkward than one of your speeches..."
"Really?" Obama said, baffled. "I thought everyone loved my speeches."
Everyone looked around nervously. Obama sniffled, like he was about to cry. "Well... that's alright. Um... I'll be in my room if you need me." The president walked away, then a few moments later everyone could hear crying. They looked at Alex with the "shame on you" face.
It was so painfully awkward that Alex stared at the door handle and slowly turned the knob.