A How-To Guide to Holiday Tipping

Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC, and it's that time of year. Yes, family togetherness, holiday lights, and warm wool and mittens as they say. Now we're going to talk about how it's time for figuring out who and how much to tip, especially if you live in a building with a doorman, a super, and other folks, it can add up to a lot of people to tip and a lot of money. Joining me to offer some guidance is Haley Sacks, perhaps better known as MrsDowJones on TikTok and Instagram, and the founder and CEO of Finance Is Cool. Welcome to WNYC. Should I call you Mrs. Jones, or should I call you Haley?

Haley Sacks: You can call me whatever you want. I'm just so excited to be here.

Brian Lehrer: Listeners, we want to hear from you. Who in your life gets a tip this time of year? Do you give cash or gifts of some sort? Are you new to this and lost, or have you got a system down pat figuring out the most appropriate tip? Depending on what the person's role is, call or text us at 212-433-WNYC. 212-433-9692. I see, and I'll call you Haley, that you've posted a handy tipping guide to Instagram, so let's go through some of these. Like for people who live in big buildings, what's the going tip for supers or a doorman or woman or other staff?

Haley Sacks: Yes, so if you live in a big building, the going tip for a super is between $75-$175, depending on how much you're calling on the super, how available they are to you. Then for door people, I usually say $50-$150 total. It really depends, Brian, on how big your building is because especially in New York, there are these huge apartment complexes with 30 people who work there, and obviously you're not going to tip all of them $100, $150. The scale goes down the more people there are because you can assume that the amount of money will be made up in the amount of tips that they're getting from different people in the building.

Brian Lehrer: Right. Some buildings have a system where they pull the tips. Like, put your $X into an envelope and leave it in the office, if the building is big enough to have an office, and they divide it in whatever way they do. In some places, they'll give you a list of the individual building workers and then you have to decide on each individual.

Haley Sacks: Yes, exactly. Those are the two different ways that it ends up playing out. I think it's also really important to remember to tip the maintenance people and your garage people if you have a garage. For both of those, it's around $25-$50.

Brian Lehrer: I'm looking at that list from your Instagram. You say for a super, if you're tipping individually, $75-$175; for a door person, $50-$150; for a maintenance worker, $25-$75. Fairly big ranges.

Haley Sacks: Yes, they're big ranges because it really depends on, A, how many people are there, B, how much you're using the people in your building., and then, C, obviously how much you can afford. In a perfect world, this would be a non-monthly expense that you are budgeting for throughout the year, but most people end up getting to December and they pretty much forgot that they had to do holiday tips, and the month is so expensive anyways, that they're feeling really stretched.

I don't want to put unnecessary pressure on this, but I do think it's important to know that if you're living in one of these buildings with lots of people and you can't afford the tips, then maybe you need to rethink where you're living because it is a normal thing to be part of that process. You can't not tip is what I'm saying.

Brian Lehrer: Ann in Hackensack has a tipping living in a high-rise building question. Ann, you're on WNYC, hello.

Ann: Hi, can you hear me?

Brian Lehrer: Can hear you just fine. Hi, Ann.

Haley Sacks: Hi, Ann.

Ann: Great. Thanks for taking my call. I recently moved into a high-rise building, and so they have a sign on the wall that lists all of the people who work there, which I was expecting to see. At the bottom of the list, there's a list with people who are part of the management. I didn't expect to see their names there. Are they supposed to get tips?

Haley Sacks: Yes, that is bold of them to put the management in there. I think if you want to tip them, you can. I think something nice to do would be like, make them cookies, bottle of wine, a card, but I agree with you, that's not the priority when it comes to tipping. Save your money for the door people, the super, the maintenance, people who are really getting their hands dirty. The person who helped you sign your lease, I don't think needs a tip.

Brian Lehrer: I know somebody who lives in a big building and their policy was a little different from what you posted on Instagram. Instead of the super getting the most and maintenance staff getting the least, they tipped maintenance staff-- it was either equal to or even greater than the super, I'm not sure, under the theory that the super makes a better living to begin with and the maintenance staff does the dirtiest work, so let's tip that person the most.

Haley Sacks: Yes, that makes a lot of sense. Like spreading it out. I think that whoever in your building you're using the most or who's being the most helpful to you, they should get the biggest tip. In my building, the super is the one who's doing the dirty work. Whenever there's an issue in my apartment, that's the person who's coming instead of maintenance people. In that case, I did tip him the most. I think that if, when you call for help, if it's a maintenance person and you never see the super, then absolutely, Brian, don't give the super the most. Give whoever is actually improving your quality of life and your building the most money [unintelligible 00:06:52] you're most thankful for.

Brian Lehrer: Right. It depends on the individual and the building. Ethel in Manhattan, you're on WNYC. Hi, Ethel.

Ethel: Hi. Yes, I'd like to know, how do you handle handymen that really don't do anything for you? When I complain that I have something wrong in the sink, he said, "Call the plumber." Something else, "Call an electrician," and they never come up. It's two years now that I've been waiting for something to be done. I even called somebody from-- what is it? Ikea or someone, a handyman to come here, and I paid him to do some work for me. How do you handle-- and when I complain to the office, they don't seem to be affected.

Brian Lehrer: Ethel, thank you very much. We have a text from another listener that's something like this also saying, "My building is really badly maintained. They're not very responsive. They don't do very much. Why should I tip or how should I tip under these circumstances?"

Haley Sacks: First of all, I hear the frustration in your voice, Ethel, and I know what that's like to be asking for help and they're just sending you any other way besides doing their job, so that's tough. Tipping is a personal decision and it's generally best to tip on the service provided rather than like what you think is worthy. You could go either way here, but like I said, it does sound like you feel frustrated with them and it doesn't seem like they have been helping you. I would understand if you just did a card and maybe like $10, on the lower end.

I feel like in some buildings, people get an attitude, like the tip is expected, and I just don't want you to then have even worse service because you didn't even give $10. You know what I mean?

Brian Lehrer: Ethel, thank you for your call. Although a very low tip could be taken as an insult as well, but-

Haley Sacks: That's true.

Brian Lehrer: -next category. People who come to your home like nannies and housekeepers and home health aides. Do you have a guide?

Haley Sacks: Yes. I do have a guide. Yes, so for nannies and housekeepers, it depends on how often you're using them. If you have a nanny every day, then I would say tip a one week's pay, same with the housekeeper, but if it's something on a you-need-to-have basis, I would say just tip them per service.

Brian Lehrer: Oh, per service, right? If somebody's coming on a spot basis?

Haley Sacks: Yes, like if you have a house housekeeper once a week.

Brian Lehrer: Yes. Not an end-of-the-year tip per se necessarily in that case, but you're saying one week's salary for people who come more regular regularly is the standard.

Haley Sacks: Yes. I think a nanny and the housekeeper, those are such important people in your life, you want to make sure that you're really letting them know how grateful you are. I would say one week's if they are there regularly, but if it's once a week, twice a week, just tip them how much it would cost for one of those days.

Brian Lehrer: Here's a different kind of building question. Reuben in Manhattan, you're on WNYC. Hello.

Reuben: Hi. Thanks. What about in office buildings? In my scenario, it's a mixed residential building and there's a small staff. Do you have guidelines for the doormen there, the super there?

Haley Sacks: Yes. I think that it is similar to your building staff in your home where you do need to tip, but you don't need to tip as much. I would bring down the amount that you're tipping for the door people there from, if it's your residential place, from $50-$150 to $20-$50. Then for the super, I think that you could do like a small gift or you could do, again, a smaller amount of money. I would say $25-$75 depending on how helpful they are.

Brian Lehrer: Reuben, I hope that answer is helpful. Listener texts this question, "Is a one-person household supposed to tip the same as a four-person household?"

Haley Sacks: That's very interesting. I think that, again, we're giving numbers that are on a scale. I think that if you're a one-person household, you can be on the lower end of the scale because you are also a one-income household. If it's a four-person household, there might be two incomes and it's easier for them to tip more and they're also using more of the services.

Brian Lehrer: Mike in Manhattan, you're on WNYC. Hi, Mike.

Mike: Hi, Brian. Sorry, I'm catching my breath. I exercise during The Brian Lehrer Show.

Brian Lehrer: Cool. I knew we were good for something. Go ahead.

Mike: Listen, Brian, you got me through a lot of good workouts. You keep me distracted. Anyway, listen, I think there's another big factor here is not just how many people work in your building and the quality, but also how much money does the tenant make? Because if you're someone who's making, I mean, we have a lot of people in New York making a lot of money. If you're making a million dollars a year and you're tipping these guys $100, that's ridiculous. I don't want people getting the impression that it's okay to-- I think it's like a percentage. When you go to a restaurant, if you go to a really high end restaurant, the tip is going to be a lot more money than if you go to a much more, less expensive place.

Brian Lehrer: That's a fair question. On the other side of it, what if you're unemployed and you're on hard times, but you're still in a building with staff?

Haley Sacks: Yes, I think that that is a really good point. I think that if you're living in a really nice apartment, like if you have a very expensive apartment, you're living in a much nicer building, then obviously I would expect you to tip more than this. I have a friend who lives in a very, very fancy apartment. He tipped his super $1,000. I think that you're right that if you're making more money, you should be tipping more. Absolutely.

If you're having a hard time, I would say the same thing goes for that end of the spectrum as well. The biggest thing is to find a way to show gratitude. Even if you can't afford to throw them $150, you should still write a card. Could you make cookies? Can you do something that's going to show them that you appreciate what they're doing and so they know that you're grateful?

Brian Lehrer: Other people, as we run out of time, who some of our listeners are suggesting that we shouldn't forget in tips: laundry person, if you drop off your laundry; mail carrier; people at the garage, if you have a parking spot in a garage, things like that. Obviously, the lesson there, the moral is don't forget the maybe non obvious people in your lives, but for whom tipping would be generous, kind, and appropriate. We leave it there.

Haley Sacks: Dog-

Brian Lehrer: Go ahead. Dog walkers, is that what you want to say?

Haley Sacks: Dog people. I also want to say dog people. If you have a dog walker, dog groomer, and then also your delivery drivers for UPS and all of that, it's very nice to throw them some money as well but if you-

Brian Lehrer: Haley?

Haley Sacks: Yes, sorry.

Brian Lehrer: Got to end it here, sorry. Haley Sacks, aka MrsDowJones on TikTok and Instagram, or her website called Finance Is Cool.

 

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