#FirstGenSexTalk: Challenging Stereotypes

When the facilitators at the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault first started hosting discussion groups about sex, relationships and consent for young people, they made several purposeful choices.

First, they decided to focus on communities of color and immigrant communities, because these groups are traditionally underserved by traditional "sex ed" messaging. And second, this program would encourage young people to think about leveraging the strengths of their community to promote better, more open communication between parents and kids, and in turn lead to healthier, violence-free relationships.

"That was the anchor," said Saswati Sarkar, the program facilitator and Director of Program Administration and Finance at the Alliance. "How do we lift the different strengths of each of our communities, and then use that as a way of prevention?"

Safia Chowdhury, an 18-year-old from Jamaica, Queens, whose parents immigrated from Bangladesh, says her peers talk about a common theme among South Asian families: Adults put the onus on girls to deflect sexual advances.

"A lot of times in Desi culture, it’s always like the girl's fault," Chowdhury told WNYC. "No matter what happens, whether it’s consensual or not, it’s the girl's fault. I think a lot of it has to do with how people think that sex is only for men. Female sexuality in Desi culture is not really a thing."

Chowdhury's biggest takeaway from the Alliance talks: You're entitled to change your mind about whether you're into something at any moment.

For Joeann Mathias, a 22-year-old from Rosedale, Queens, whose parents are from Haiti, she said she'd never really reflected on how her community talks about sexual assault or mental health before discussing it with her peers at the Alliance.

"I felt really excited because I never got asked questions like that about my community," said Mathias. "I feel like in the African American community, it’s always, 'Shh, keep your mouth closed, don’t say anything, just pray about it.' I just think that, for once, actually acknowledging things that happen in our society is the first step to healing."

Tell us how you've challenged this sort of thinking in or about your community, and how your community's strengths can really shine in these conversations about sex and relationships. Tweet @WNYC using the hashtag #FirstGenSexTalk to join the conversation.

All this week on Morning Edition, we're exploring conversations between immigrant parents and their kids about sex, relationships and consent. You can listen to Monday's conversation about "The Sex Talk" here, Tuesday's segment on street harassment here, and Wednesday's segment with personal stories here.